


Wished Up

by LittleMousling, moogle62



Series: CM Chatfic [3]
Category: Crooked Media RPF
Genre: Angst, Bad Communication, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Misunderstandings, Morning Sickness, Mpreg, Mutual Pining, Pining, car sickness, chatfic, literal actual chatfic in chatfic form
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-10-04 21:01:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17311781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleMousling/pseuds/LittleMousling, https://archiveofourown.org/users/moogle62/pseuds/moogle62
Summary: Pure, unfiltered idtastic chatfic feat. mpreg, misunderstandings, pining, angst, and a very happy ending.





	Wished Up

LittleMousling [2:49 PM]  
(WHY MUST I BE AT WORK AND NOT WATCHING LOVETT BE PREGNANT)

Moog [2:58 PM]  
STUPID CAPITALISM  
It really made me want to write pregnant fic

LittleMousling [2:58 PM]  
UP FOR IT

Moog [2:59 PM]  
OKAY COOL  
SHALL WE PREGGO A LOVETT

LittleMousling [2:59 PM]  
GOODNESS YES

Moog [3:00 PM]  
EmJonJon or other?

LittleMousling [3:00 PM]  
HMMMMMM thoughts on Tommy?  
I bet Tommy could hold mildly pregnant Lovett up against a wall

Moog [3:02 PM]  
Totally totally could  
Is it Tommy's baby?  
Or is it some rando whose number Lovett doesn't have

LittleMousling [3:03 PM]  
Or spontaneous wish baby

Moog [3:03 PM]  
Oooh spontaneous wish baby  
Lovett like, wistfully one night by himself, it would be.. nice, I think  
And then BAM pregnant  
Thinks he's just sick for ages

LittleMousling [3:04 PM]  
Yesssss

Moog [3:04 PM]  
BUT NO. THAT'S A BABY.

LittleMousling [3:05 PM]  
A baby he’s going to be responsible for!!!! Oh god?!?!?!

Moog [3:05 PM]  
Like, barfs a bunch, thinks it's food poisoning, is really tired and achy, ignores it  
And then has to, like, bolt out of a livestream or smth to puke and is like, okay, something is clearly up, and goes to a doctor and the doctor is like, SOME BABY NEWS FOR YOU, SIR  
Are he and Tommy a thing? Bc either way he could just freak out and turn up on Tommy's door like TOMMY. TOMMY. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

LittleMousling [3:06 PM]  
Yesssssss  
Hmm!!!!

Moog [3:07 PM]  
Or does Tommy notice something is up  
And MAKE him go to the doctor

LittleMousling [3:07 PM]  
I think ... ooh what about had been dancing around something but Lovett’s illness and other factors got on the way  
And now Lovett’s like “Well that’s never going to happen now, so much for that flirting”

Moog [3:10 PM]  
:heart_eyes::heart_eyes: yes that is maximum feelings

LittleMousling [3:14 PM]  
Tommy thought he was politely backing off bc Lovett’s life is getting so complicated but soon—someday—

Lovett thinks “never, now this has happened.”

Moog [3:20 PM]  
Nooooooooo  
(Yesssssssssss)  
Okay how does Tommy find out? Does Lovett tell him? Does Tommy ASK? Does Lovett accidentally leave something out at home and Tommy pops by?  
Does pundit send him a distress call like HELP HELP DAD IS BEING WEIRD  
TOMMYDAD PLS

LittleMousling [3:23 PM]  
I like your idea of Tommy finally drags him to the doctor and so is there when Lovett finds out

He can take him home and order them food and sit with him and be Very Carefully Platonic, Lovett Doesn’t Need to Think About Your Dumb Crush Right Now, Vietor

Moog [3:24 PM]  
SO CAREFULLY PLATONIC  
While Lovett is like  
This is it, he's distancing himself  
He doesn't want me or this and oh fuck I'm pregnant

LittleMousling [3:26 PM]  
Pregnant and DOOMED to single parenthood

And he hasn’t even fucked anyone in months, because he thought something was gonna happen with Tommy and then he was sick and zero percent horny! He didn’t even get a fun conception!!

Moog [4:17 PM]  
Yesssss  
He just wants someone to make him COME but it has just been HIM and now he's PREGNANT and NO ONE WILL WANT HIM. ESPECIALLY TOMMY.  
AND HE'S GOING BE ALONE FOREVER AND RUIN THIS CHILD'S LIFE

LittleMousling [5:11 PM]  
what if he gets sad and horny and goes out to get laid and Tommy finds out about it???? and then TOMMY's like "oh ... yeah ... that makes sense. No one ever wants to commit to me, so. Figures now he's gonna have a kid, he's not interested anymore" and is just like quietly crushed but trying to hide it and be a supportive friend???

Moog [5:26 PM]  
How melodrama do we want, because I am FULLY willing to invent a josh that gets Lovett shirtless and bails when he finds out he's pregnant  
Like, I'm not proud of that  
But here we are

LittleMousling [5:31 PM]  
omg fucking yes let's do it that's amazing

Moog [5:58 PM]  
COOL okay so idk Lovett finds some dude on a hookup app and like, does his hair slightly and puts on a good shirt (not, like, SHIRT shirt, you know, like a good soft jumper or something), goes out, meets this guy at a bar, they have a drink—Lovett fakes an excuse to get a non alcoholic thing—and they go back to josh's place and they're making out and it's good, it's fine, it's some action, josh is maybe grabby where Lovett would maybe like some more NUANCE in his handling but WHATEVER HE'S GONNA GET LAID and josh is into it and then josh is like, "take your shirt off, babe," ("""""babe""""" thinks Lovett, a la the face he pulled about saying y'all) and Lovett does and josh like—looks.  
(ABJECT PREGNANT MISERY for one KNOCKED UP JON LOVETT)

LittleMousling [6:03 PM]  
(let’s just have Josh realize Lovett's pregnant instantly because of, whatever, he's the eldest of sixteen kids, and that is a GIANT NO FROM HIM)

"You're ..." Josh pauses, staring. "Twelve weeks? Fourteen?"

"Excuse me?" Lovett says, and grabs his shirt back up off the bed, holds it to his chest. "I— _rude_ , frankly—"

"I have to go," Josh says.

Josh is just _gone_ before Lovett even processes what the fuck is happening. Lovett wonders, for a second, what Josh would have done if they'd gone to his place, instead, and then he's crying, can't stop it, the way he's been crying a lot lately. He wonders if Favs and Emily saw Josh's car. He wonders if they'll tell Tommy.

Of course they will. Jon can't keep a secret to save his fucking life.

Moog [2:32 PM]  
At work the next day, Pundit stays by his feet more than usual, nuzzling against him. He keeps glancing at Jon, trying to read on his open face if he knows, if he saw. Jon wears his feelings in the open, has done as long as Lovett has known him.

Tommy, on the other hand, has got neutral down to a science.

Moog [3:31 PM]  
(Okay, what, like, excellent hormonal sad frustrated needy sitch can we dwell in here?)  
(Tommy reacting to Lovett hooking up with someone and Lovett being like dON'T JUDGE ME in a Way and Tommy is like, hey, are you... okay?)  
(And Lovett tells him FURIOUS AND EMBARRASSED about josh bailing and Tommy is like INCANDESCENT WITH RAGE?)

LittleMousling [5:15 PM]  
(What if we do Tommy being kind of a standoffish jerk at first? Not too much or too long, but like, Jon def came in in the morning like "yo Tomm-o, guess who got laid last night, can you believe Lovett's hooking up while he's pregnant? Wild" and Tommy's like "... real wild" with this sinking sadness like, okay, apparently Lovett _didn't_ need time and space, he just ... doesn't want Tommy anymore. Figures!! makes sense!!! Tommy's obviously not the one you commit to!!!!!!)

Moog [5:55 PM]  
Shdjfk TOMMY'S ABANDONMENT ISSUES  
And then Lovett doesn't look HAPPY even though Tommy KNOWS HE GOT LAID and it's just a clusterfuck of misery all round

LittleMousling [5:59 PM]  
ugh yessssss and eventually Tommy says something pointed and a little (NOT A LOT) mean about Lovett sleeping around, and Lovett starts crying because hormones but also because _fuck_ Tommy, seriously, and that's how it all comes out about Josh

Moog [6:30 PM]  
YES and Tommy likes, hustles the two of them idk into a room where no one else is and Lovett is furiously wiping his eyes and sort of is like, well joke's on YOU because he DIDN'T EVEN WANT ME, HOW'S THAT FOR SLEEPING AROUND while Tommy wonders whether he can put a hit out on someone he's never met

LittleMousling [7:35 PM]  
:sob::sob::sob:  
Tommy has to comfort him!!!!

Moog [8:01 AM]  
TELL ME OF THIS COMFORT :chinhand:

LittleMousling [8:10 AM]  
okay SO Tommy's hustled them into some room (the STAIRWELL maybe) and Lovett's crying and clearly angry that he's crying—Lovett cries lots but over movies and things, not day-to-day conversations! Tommy knows he doesn't much like to be touched, either, but ... surely that's the right move, to wrap his arms around Lovett and say soothing things.

He can feel the tiny bump of Lovett's belly against him and it makes him want to actually murder this guy. Who _wouldn't_ want that, if they could have it? Who wouldn't want Lovett?

Moog [9:40 AM]  
Lovett stays stiff, arms folded between him and Tommy, but he doesn't move away. His shoulders hitch, and Tommy feels him try and stop it.

"What a fucking asshole," Tommy says, which is the mildest thing he has about the situation. Who could walk away from Lovett? Who _would_? Fuck, he can't think about that, about Lovett being walked out on, vulnerable.

LittleMousling [9:43 AM]  
"Yeah, well," Lovett says. "It was stupid to think anyone would want to—when I'm—"

"That's not stupid," Tommy says, his voice too harsh even in his own ears. "That's not— _he's_ the stupid one."

Lovett shakes his head against Tommy's shoulder and pulls back. "Sure, yeah." He doesn't exactly sound convinced. "I'm gonna walk to Starbucks, tell Jon I'll be back in twenty."

"I'll go with you," Tommy offers, and Lovett shakes his head. He's already turning away from Tommy, towards the stairs.

Moog [11:23 AM]  
(also which pregnancy tropes do we like most/want to lean into for the beats here? like, I love FIRST TIME THE BABY KICKS and GOING INTO LABOUR and SUDDEN PANIC ABOUT BEING INCAPABLE and all the nesting things and miserable side effects getting someone a lot of being looked after and HORNY AF and random hormonal crying etc etc ALL THE INTIMATE VULNERABLE PARTS R U SHOCKED)

LittleMousling [11:26 AM]  
(OH GOD what if the baby kicks RIGHT THEN and Lovett ALMOST FALLS DOWN THE STAIRS but catches the railing and then TOMMY CATCHES HIM and then they cry TOGETHER while feeling it kick) (wait damn he's not far enough along, is he) (also YES ALL OF THOSE THINGS)

Moog [11:26 AM]  
(WHATEVER WE'LL RETCON IT I LOVE IT LET'S GO WITH THAT)  
Tommy doesn't know what to say, or what Lovett would want to hear. He doesn't try and stop Lovett, though—getting between an upset Lovett and his decided course of action is a lesson learned early—but he does wait a moment, watching Lovett go. His shoulders are hunched and tense, and Tommy honestly doubts whether he's even got his wallet with him. Lovett doesn't look back—there's no reason he should, after all; Tommy's the one that made him _cry_ , jesus—and Lovett's on the last few steps, Tommy about to turn back to the office, when Lovett suddenly—trips? Overbalances? His body jerks, and Tommy knows a second of pure cold sweat terror as Lovett wavers, unsteady, expression twisted in panic.

LittleMousling [11:32 AM]  
He's down the stairs before he has a moment to think, taking them two and three at a time until he's on the landing and Lovett safely above him. He still pulls Lovett down onto solid ground with him, arms firm on Lovett's biceps. "Are you okay? What happened? Are you feeling faint?" Tommy's seen enough pregnant people faint in movies to be pretty sure it's a common feature of pregnancy.

Moog [11:35 AM]  
(FAINTING how could I forget fainting, that's like one of my NUMBER ONE FAVOURITE THINGS one day I want to use a Friendship Card to get someone to write me Lovett twists his ankle and pushes himself too far on it and just faints into Tommy's arms)

Lovett seems dazed, blinking. He's letting Tommy hold onto him. "I, no, it's—" he shakes his head, almost disbelieving. "I—I think the baby kicked. I—it really kicked."

LittleMousling [11:42 AM]  
Tommy reaches for Lovett’s belly instinctively, but catches himself before he makes contact. “It—wow,” he says instead. He still has Lovett’s bicep in a tight grip, and he forces himself to let go. Forces himself not to ask, _can I touch?_

Moog [12:02 PM]  
"Is it," he says, instead, "are you okay?"

Lovett blinks again. He puts a hand down between them, slowly, palm spread wide on his belly over his worn thin t-shirt. "I—yeah," he says. "Wow." His voice is very soft. Tommy would be willing to personally push anyone else who walked in on this down the stairs, just so Lovett could have this moment, unguarded and unseen. "Hi there," he says, looking down, and then, flushing pink all up his cheeks, "um, do you—Tommy, do you want to—"

LittleMousling [12:25 PM]  
Tommy catches himself, doesn’t say “ _YES_ ” at top volume. Nods, lifts a hand not quite to Lovett’s belly, and after a moment Lovett catches it and presses it onto his shirt, off to one side. “It was here,” Lovett says. He’s staring at his own stomach, looking rapt and— _happy_ , the way Tommy wishes he looked all the time.

Moog [12:44 PM]  
"Do you think it'll happen again?" Tommy asks. Lovett is warm under his palm, the bump of his stomach gentle but insistent.

"I don't know, Tommy, what am I, a fetus mindreader?" Lovett says, but he keeps his hand over Tommy's. Both of them wait, held in the warm California afternoon. And then there—so faintly, but there—there's...

"Oh," Tommy says, thickly. "Oh, Lovett."

LittleMousling [12:49 PM]  
“Shit,” Lovett says. His voice is thick. “There’s really a baby in there.”

Tommy doesn’t have the slightest temptation to point out that they already knew that. It does feel newly real, newly certain. There’s really an actual baby inside of Lovett. “Wow,” he says. His heart is so full; he wants to say more than he should, hopeless as it is. “Lovett, I—“

The door to the office bursts open. “They’re on the stairs,” Elijah says, shouted back towards the office. “You guys coming back? The Post just dropped a story about—“

“Give us a second,” Tommy interrupts, but Lovett’s already stepping back from him, heading back up the stairs. Tommy says against the wall and watches him go.

Probably for the best, that he got interrupted. He knows there’s no point saying anything.

Moog [12:50 PM]  
[Florence + the machine howl playing in the background]  
GODDAMN, LM

Moog [2:01 PM]  
(Okay what's our vague timeline for this collision of pregnancy tropes we like? When does Tommy SPILL HIS SECRET FEELS? Does Lovett call him in a panic in the middle of the night about a TOTALLY TOTALLY FINE BUT WORRYING pregnancy thing that he's googled and freaked himself out about and Tommy goes over and like. He just LOVES him and Lovett WAS SCARED AND CALLED HIM)

LittleMousling [3:59 PM]  
(Maybe we should find a way to force some togetherness? They have to do a mini tour together bc weeks ago they sold a ton of tickets to a LOLI tour feat. Vietor Detours during their flirting phase and now they actually have to GO on that tour?)

Moog [4:03 PM]  
(OOOH like four days of forced proximity in vans and hotels and on stage?)

LittleMousling [4:04 PM]  
(Exactly!!!)

Moog [4:14 PM]  
They have to leave for their mini tour in a few days anyway. All Tommy would have done now is made that—awkward, at best, and unbearable at worst, and he's just not going to do that to Lovett, especially not now.

If he keeps looking over at Lovett, at the way the curve of his belly is more pronounced when he slumps over his laptop, posture always awful—well, that's Tommy's problem, not Lovett's. Sometimes he sees Lovett rest a hand on his side, just where he put Tommy's hand. The kick had been gentle, but definitely a kick. Tommy can't stop remembering the way it felt, the flutter of movement. God. Lovett's going to have a baby.

He doesn't need Tommy and his feelings getting in his way.

LittleMousling [4:49 PM]  
They're flying out to DC, where they're staying the night before driving to Atlanta and on to Jacksonville and New Orleans. Jon's meeting them in Louisiana for one live Pod Save America; it's not the most practical tour arrangement for him, but he's bringing Emily along to show her the city, since she wasn't with them for the bachelor party.

They're only bringing Chris and Corinne along for this, and Tanya for Louisiana, and it had seemed immensely practical, originally, for them to book only two rooms in DC, Atlanta, and Jacksonville. Now that Tommy's staring at his suitcase, thinking about four nights with Lovett in the next bed, it seems ... well. Not like something he can call Chris and try to have changed, without causing bigger problems. Besides, Lovett's pregnant; he shouldn't be alone. Something could go wrong.

"He's alone at home all the time," Tommy mutters to himself. He packs heavy, dark-coloured sweatpants to wear as pajamas, even though it's going to be broiling in the swamp. He might need the camouflage, waking up near Lovett.

Moog [5:05 PM]  
Lovett, predictably, is late to the airport. He arrives, suitcase in tow, after Chris has sent a succession of increasingly dismayed texts and Tommy is on his second coffee. Lovett looks disheveled, sweaty, and harried; Tommy represses his knee-jerk reaction to offer to take Lovett's luggage.

LittleMousling [5:13 PM]  
"I think Chris said we got upgraded," Tommy tells him, instead. "Should be pretty nice."

Lovett nods acknowledgement and rolls the suitcase in closer to his chair so he can plug his phone into it. "Great. Terrific. First class, great place to meet rich men, right?”

He’s joking. Tommy’s almost certain he’s joking. But there’s a vicious bite to the joke that makes Tommy think maybe part of it is very real. Maybe Lovett’s really looking for someone. For someone _else_. Maybe that bad hookup was a date.

It burns in his stomach thinking about it. Tommy puts his earphones in and turns on the latest Keep It.

Moog [5:29 PM]  
Lovett goes silent on the plane, curling up in his seat as much as he can. Tommy burns through two podcasts and half his prep book for the next Pod Save the World before Lovett jerks awake, startled.

Tommy reaches over. He's read that sometimes pregnancy can heighten nightmares. Lovett looks okay, if a little wild-eyed, and Tommy's not going to draw attention to it but he does want—he wants Lovett to feel grounded again, as much as someone can be grounded in a flying tin can.

LittleMousling [5:33 PM]  
"Hey," he whispers. Chris and Corinne are asleep across the aisle. "You okay?"

"I—yeah," Lovett says, and it's a blatant lie, but Tommy doesn't call him on it. Lovett fumbles in the seat pocket for his Diet Coke, takes a few sips and screws the cap back on. "You're not going to sleep?"

Tommy shrugs. "I'll be okay." He can't usually sleep on airplanes, and it's less frustrating if he doesn't try.

Lovett's hand goes to his own belly, fingers spread wide. He looks out the window, and Tommy realizes he's staring, that he should go back to his book.

Moog [6:20 PM]  
Tommy does go back to his book. More or less. He just... also notices Lovett doesn't go back to sleep, but settles into some sort of puzzle game, frowning down at his phone. He should probably be wearing his glasses. Tommy doesn't mention that, either.

He does grab Lovett's bag down for him when they're getting off the plane—it's just practical, really, seeing as Tommy can reach and hasn't been warned against strenuous lifting—and Lovett narrows his eyes, but accepts it.

LittleMousling [6:29 PM]  
Corinne and Chris are off-duty tonight, and they disappear as soon as the hotel check-in's cleared. Tommy wants to ask what their plans are, but doesn't—he's trying to be a good boss, with good boundaries.

Lovett, though—"Are you meeting up with your DC friends tonight?" Tommy asks, and Lovett looks away from him, blatantly avoidant. It's almost cute in how ill-concealed it is; Lovett's usually got a better poker face than that.

"Nah," Lovett says, and if he's aiming for breezy, he's missed it by a mile. "Thought I'd stay in and watch some TV. I'm behind on everything, you know. Busy being a media mogul."

(I'm thinking Lovett has not told anyone he's pregnant and doesn't know how to and so is avoiding people?)

Moog [7:45 AM]  
(That seems intensely likely tbh oh Lovett)

Moog [8:43 AM]  
"You want company?" Tommy isn't surprised when Lovett shakes his head no, but it's still... something. Not hurtful. Maybe disappointment, in a dull part of him he's trying to ignore.

He drops off his bags and watches Lovett pick the bed nearest the door. Maybe he remembers that Tommy likes to sleep near a window, likes to be able to remind himself there's a world outside the bounds of his insomnia. Maybe he just wants to be nearer the bathroom.

Tommy doesn't know what to do with himself, after that. He walks, a little, sees a theatre he used to walk past years back. They had a show in it over the summer; it's not stopped being surreal yet. Tommy's so much less tired than he was when he lived here. He feels so much more than he was.

_Dinner?_ he texts Lovett, when his feet start to hurt. _I'm buying._

_Yes_ , Lovett texts, almost instantly. _provide for me._

LittleMousling [8:58 AM]  
Tommy stops in the center of the sidewalk, staring at his phone. That shouldn't—that's just a classic Lovett joke, signifying nothing, but it makes him ache to provide _everything_ for Lovett, for the baby. Food and shelter and clothing and _love_ , like his dad did for—

He shakes his head, runs the back of his hand across his eyes, and texts back _Thai good if I order it mild?_ He's glad texting is an unemotional medium. He's glad he's a thirty-minute walk from the hotel.

He goes and picks up Thai.

Moog [9:28 AM]  
When he gets back, Lovett is sprawled out across the bed, fast asleep. The tv is playing in the background and Lovett's shirt is rucked a little over his belly, revealing a soft strip of pale skin, the beginning of a stretch mark on his side.

Tommy accidentally lets the door slam, and Lovett jerks awake. It's—it's probably better, Tommy thinks, swallowing down guilt, and pretends he just walked in.

LittleMousling [9:31 AM]  
"Sorry, did I wake you up?" He thinks his voice sounds normal. He's going to make sure his voice sounds normal. He turns towards the desk, pulling out the plastic silverware and the dishes of rice and tom yum and red curry and pad thai. "I probably bought too much. We can eat the rest tomorrow on the drive, maybe."

"Oh, I think you're gonna be surprised how much I can stuff down these days," Lovett says. He's suddenly close behind Tommy, and Tommy has to fight the urge to shy away, to flinch. "Oh man, that smells good. I can finally smell good food without getting nauseated, it's like having my life back."

Moog [9:48 AM]  
They've all been eating public transport friendly food in the office for weeks, or sitting in one of the conference rooms with anything more aromatic, without talking about it. Lovett hadn't even said anything—well, he wouldn't; if he's inconvenienced they never stop hearing about it; if he's genuinely hurt he won't say a fucking word—but he'd been pale and distracted, avoiding the kitchen.

They sit on their separate beds and eat, some reality show Emily likes playing on the tv. Jon sends them a picture of the dogs, the three of them in a doodle heap, happy and tangled.  
(I literally got a pregnancy ad on youtube as I was typing that :joy:)

LittleMousling [9:55 AM]  
Lovett's barely interrupting the show to talk, and it's weird. This isn't exactly Game of Thrones, and Lovett usually keeps up a running commentary on anything else. It makes Tommy antsy, watching in silence, makes him want to fill it.

"Have you, um, thought about names?" he asks, and Lovett's head whips toward him, startled.

"Have I—what? _No_ , I haven't thought about—I have _months_ for—are you trying to stress me out?" Lovett's waving his fork. He doesn't look mad; he looks like he's found a good rant groove and he's going to settle into it. Tommy has to force himself not to smile.

Moog [10:52 AM]  
"It's like you've never met me, Tommy. It's like, it's like you think I do anything ahead of time." The tv cuts to commercials and Lovett punctuates with a particularly emphatic fork jab. "There are _mountains_ to go before I have to think about names. Mountains of, of, crib-buying! And bottle-testing! And—what the fuck else, other baby stuff." He puts his fork down. "I don't think the baby will care what it's called when it's screaming for something and I haven't bought it a bottle yet, you know?"

LittleMousling [10:55 AM]  
Tommy truly cannot help the flash that runs through him of Lovett breast-feeding. That's not even—he _knows_ that rarely if ever happens in male pregnancies, he's read three books about male pregnancy since finding out about Lovett. But it's still impossible not to picture it, and not to be the complete creep who mentally puts the baby down somewhere safe and climbs up into the picture himself. He squeezes his eyes shut, hopes Lovett's too caught up in his rant to notice anything. Puts a knee up, since it's less obvious than putting a pillow over his lap.

"—not supposed to tell people name ideas, anyway. People are jerks about it, she says. You just present them with a baby that already has a name, and then they can't say anything mean."

"Mm-hm," Tommy says. "Makes sense."

Moog [11:00 AM]  
Lovett squints at him. "You all right? You've gone all... weird-looking. You're not coming down with something, are you? Because I will switch rooms like _that_ , don't think I won't."

Tommy shakes his head. "Sorry to disappoint you," he says. "I'm fine, I'm just tired. You're stuck with me."

"Ugh," Lovett says, and makes a show of rolling his eyes.

Tommy can't help looking at him, still, the swell of his stomach, the—the swell of his chest, just slightly, just enough that it isn't _helping_ him stop thinking about.. what he's thinking about. "I'm going to shower," he blurts, and bolts.  
(I have a thought for a) when they are trying to sleep and b) in the van on the way to atlanta and the rest of this is PURE IMPROVISATION SORRY)

LittleMousling [11:11 AM]  
(improvise away!!!)

Tommy means to have a freezing shower that will remind him he's meant to be a good friend. He truly does mean to.

He turns the knob to hot, instead, and his hand's on his cock before he even closes the shower curtain. He leans one shoulder into the wall and bites down on the base of his thumb and shuts his eyes and thinks about Lovett's body. He wants to see every inch of it, the round of his belly and the swell of his tits and his cock, wants to kiss him everywhere. Wants to fuck him—can't think of anything in the whole fucking world he wouldn't sacrifice, right now, just to have Lovett under him, begging for Tommy's cock.

He comes, and is instantly flooded with guilt. Even the warm shower doesn't feel much good, after that, and he scrubs his hair and his pits and gets out.

(does that screw up your trying to sleep bit? He could take a cold shower instead if so!)

Moog [11:12 AM]  
(nnn that totally works! guiltily wank in the shower, Tommy, we know you want to) 

Moog [11:30 AM]  
He doesn't look at himself in the mirror, just dries himself off, wraps a towel around his waist—of course he forgot to bring pyjamas in here with him, of _course_ —and goes back out into the room. Lovett's on his phone and doesn't look up, which feels oddly anticlimatic, and Tommy scoops his sweats and a clean t-shirt up, retreats back into the safety of the bathroom to put them on.

Lovett, for his part, changes into a different pair of sweats later, comes out of the bathroom flushed from the shower. damp curls around his forehead, and flops ungracefully down onto the bed. "Turn the light off," he says, muffled by his pillow.

Tommy turns the light off.

He's brought earbuds, and he puts them in, turns on Headspace and tries to even out his breathing. It's always weird, sleeping somewhere unfamiliar, and Tommy's not good at sleeping even in his own house. The Headspace track keeps going, and going, and Tommy stays fully awake.

When the track finishes, Tommy rolls onto his side and an earbud falls out. In the gap, he can hear the sound of Lovett breathing, arrhythmic, not the steady pattern he gets when he sleeps, none of his soft snores. They lie in silence for a while. Lovett tosses in bed, in the dark, on the other side of the room. He can't sleep on his stomach any more, Tommy realises; it must be throwing him off.

Tommy takes the earbuds out of his phone, and turns Headspace back on. He doesn't say anything, even when he hears Lovett's catch of breath, just lies there, keeps his eyes closed. It's no big deal. It's nothing big. It's fine.

When Tommy stirs, some time later, the sun is starting to rise and, in the dim light, he can see Lovett, fast asleep, curled up on his side, facing Tommy. Even in sleep, he looks tired, now.  
(......THAT GOT AWAY FROM ME SORRY)

LittleMousling [11:34 AM]  
(awwwwwwww Tommy!!!!)  
They don't have to leave for Atlanta until noon, because Chris is a saint who understands the importance of sleeping in. Lovett will need to wake up in the next half hour or so, Tommy thinks, but not before that.

He gets up as quietly as he can, snags the room-service menu and his phone, and pads into the hallway. "Hi—this is room 714, can I order breakfast in?" At least let Lovett wake up to sausage and hashbrowns and coffee, if Tommy has to wake him.

Moog [1:40 PM]  
Lovett doesn't wake up when Tommy lets himself back into the room, or when Tommy gathers up the few things he needs to repack. He only wakes up when the breakfast arrives. Tommy imagines the smell of coffee wafting over to him like in a cartoon, gathering him up like a sleeping mouse and floating him awake.

Lovett is allowed a strict ration of caffeine now, and, as Lovett has a severe refusal to discuss anything going on with his physical form, pregnancy or no pregnancy, this is serving as his funnel for all his pregnancy-related grievances. "That had better be for me," he mumbles, without even opening his eyes.

LittleMousling [2:23 PM]  
"I wouldn't deny you," Tommy says, although that's mostly only because Lovett would go for his eyes if he tried. "There's sausage and hashbrowns and—"

"You had me at sausage," Lovett says, and then, "That's not a gay joke, that's just about how sausage is delicious."

"You can have mine, if you want." Tommy brings Lovett's plate over to him on the room-service tray, with a coffee and his silverware. "Let me know if you're still hungry after this." Lovett hadn't been kidding about the Thai, although they still have some left for the road.

(Should we just get them in the van at this point?)

Moog [2:49 PM]  
(seems good!)  
They eat—Tommy gives Lovett one of his sausages, to great eyebrow-raising amusement—and through a combination of Tommy packing half of Lovett's things back into his suitcase and Lovett remembering to check his phone, his phone charger, and his wallet multiple times, they make it down on time.

"Don't give me that face," Lovett says, when Chris expresses her amazement. "I'm always on time."

LittleMousling [2:54 PM]  
"Tommy's a good influence on you," Chris says, and hustles them all into the waiting van, which was delivered, if Tommy remembers the agenda right, at nine this morning.

The van's roomy. Corinne claims the front seat—motion sickness—and Chris sits behind the driver, to help navigate and to chit-chat with Corrine. Tommy and Lovett have the whole back of the van to themselves, and Lovett immediately sets up camp in the very last row of seats. "These were always the prime seats on the school bus," Lovett tells Tommy. "Made learning about Rosa Parks really confusing in my school, let me tell you." 

Moog [3:32 PM]  
(so my thinking re: the drive is that Lovett discovers unexpected pregnancy motion sickness and Tommy either notices and gets them to pull over or makes up some excuse at a rest stop to make sure no one else is around to see Lovett puke but like.... we can skip this)

LittleMousling [3:33 PM]  
(no no do it!)  
(although omg I hope puking cures it bc they have a LOT of driving ahead)

Moog [3:40 PM]  
(ANOTHER THING FOR LOVETT TO WORRY ABOUT)  
(ALSO HE GETS SO TIRED NOW. IS HE LETTING THE COMPANY DOWN!!!!!! (No))

LittleMousling [3:40 PM]  
(oh god YES let's wind Lovett up with worries until he explodes feelings all over Tommy, maybe in a hotel room in Atlanta)

Moog [3:44 PM]  
(YES I LOVE IT maybe he essplodes in... wherever they're doing podsa bc he's been keeping it in and keeping it in and then Jon really innocently is like, hey, Lovett, you doing okay? You look tired. And then back in the hotel Lovett just LOSES it)

LittleMousling [3:46 PM]  
(oh no are we gonna wind him up all the way until New Orleans? YES LET'S. Just INCREASINGLY TENSE LOVETT.) (and then they get all their feelings out and bone!!)

Moog [3:51 PM]  
(YES WE ARE GENIUS)

LittleMousling [3:52 PM]  
(THIS ONE IS LIKE 98% YOU BUT I'M A GENIUS OTHER TIMES SO IT ALL WORKS OUT)

Moog [3:56 PM]  
(I AM RELIABLY HERE FOR ALL INCREASINGLY MELODRAMATIC H/C SCENARIOS)

Moog [5:45 PM]  
"Lovett," Tommy says, aiming for chastising, but he's grinning too hard to pull it off. Lovett always does this to him, fills him up with happiness in a way that feels unhideable.

"What?" Lovett says, shrugging delightedly; he's so surprised, somehow, every time Tommy laughs, even though Tommy laughs every time too. "What?" and he subsides into his seat, still grinning.

Corinne picks the music, because she won the first round of rock paper scissors the day before, and Tommy settles back into his seat, gets ready for the long drive.

LittleMousling [5:52 PM]  
DC's environs—even though they jump straight on the highway—feel cozy and familiar, and Tommy splays out with his head almost against the window, washing it rush by.

They're still an hour out of Richmond when he hears Lovett say, voice tight, "We need to pull over."

Tommy doesn't hesitate; he doesn't need to know why. They need to pull over. "Pull over! Like, right now! Please," the last an afterthought even though Tommy had the magic words drilled into him and they come out automatically.

The driver listens, at least, signaling across three lanes and then onto the shoulder. "What's wrong?"

Moog [5:35 AM]  
Tommy isn't really paying attention; he's watching Lovett grab for the door handle, wrench the door open and stagger out onto the shoulder.

"Lovett?" Corinne says, but Tommy's already sliding across the seats.

"It's fine," Tommy says, over his shoulder, scrambling out of the car. "Don't—" and he cuts off as Lovett, one hand braced on the trunk, doubles over and heaves.

Tommy shuts the car door. It's futile, but he hopes maybe the sound of traffic will hide the sound for the people in the car. Lovett will hate this, everything about it.

When Lovett straightens up, his eyes are streaming and he swipes at them furiously. He's holding his stomach, protective.

"Don't," he chokes, and Tommy spreads his hands, standing between Lovett and the car windows.

"I've got water in my bag," he says, squashing down every single urge to reach out, to hold Lovett until the reflexive shaking stops.

LittleMousling [9:13 AM]  
(OH GOD POOR LOVETT)

Lovett doesn't answer, which is maybe answer enough; Tommy climbs back in long enough to get water and to make pointed eyes at Corinne until she nods. He hopes she got the message, can tell Chris and the driver to just—shut up.

He hands the bottle to Lovett and stands between him and the front of the van, blocking—maybe blocking—hopefully blocking their view. Or at least making Lovett feel like he is.

Lovett rinses and spits, gags again. "Fuck."

Moog [9:19 AM]  
Everything Tommy can think to say sounds meaningless or infuriating for Lovett, so he just stays silent, standing between Lovett and the windows.

Lovett takes a few deep breaths, not looking at him, and leans back against the car. "Don't say anything. _Fuck_."  
(POOR LOVETT SORRY BOO YOU'RE JUST GOING TO GET MORE MISERABLE AND TENSE FOR LIKE. SEVERAL STATES.)

LittleMousling [9:26 AM]  
(SO MUCH DRIVING. POOR PREGNANT LOVETT, WORRYING HE CAN’T DO HIS JOB, HIS COWORKERS WILL THINK POORLY OF HIM AND THINK ABOUT HIS FRAIL HUMAN BODY)

Moog [9:28 AM]  
(MAYBE THEY WILL NOTICE HE HAS A BODY THAT DOES BODY STUFF!!!!!)

LittleMousling [9:52 AM]  
Lovett breathes, and breathes, and they've been on the shoulder for way too long. "Lovett—let's get to a rest stop, okay? I don't want us to get hit by some jerk on their phone."

Lovett grimaces, broad enough Tommy can see it pressing into his cheeks even from mostly behind him. "Yeah," he says. "Yeah, just a second."

"It'll be—"

" _Don't_ ," Lovett says. "We have to drive eighteen hours in the next four days. Don't fucking tell me it's gonna be fine." 

Moog [10:10 AM]  
Tommy shuts up. Lovett takes another breath, and turns round. He's a horrible colour; Tommy tries to keep that reaction off his own face. He reaches out, squeezes Lovett's forearm before he can think better of it, just wants—something, some way to say he's there. Lovett's expression doesn't change. They get back in the car.

"I'm kind of hot," Tommy says, as they move off. "Anyone mind if I open a window?"

No one does. Lovett tilts his face wordlessly towards the cooler air, and closes his eyes.

LittleMousling [10:43 AM]  
They pull over at the next rest stop, and Lovett gets out, wobbly, and heads inside. He turns off toward the restrooms and Tommy doesn't follow, goes and gets himself coffee and a decaf for Lovett, instead. He hopes against hope that Lovett will feel better soon, that Lovett won't be in pain and uncomfortable all the way to Atlanta. And then Jacksonville. And then New Orleans. He wonders if they could fly, if Chris could book them last-minute seats, but their schedule's tight as it is.

He buys Lovett a muffin, too. It'll keep, if Lovett can't eat right now.

Moog [10:53 AM]  
(IDEA I JUST HAD what if one time Lovett is showering and there's a weird noise and Tommy is like, everything okay? And Lovett yells back FINE and emerges later flustered and cross and obv everything was fine; he was wanking and he slipped and caught himself with a hand slapped against the tiles)

LittleMousling [11:04 AM]  
(GORGEOUS IDEA)

Moog [11:09 AM]  
Corinne catches him on the way back to the car and asks if she should swap seats with Lovett. Tommy doesn't know: she gets carsick too, so it doesn't really seem fair.

Lovett's the last person back. He looks green, miserable and hating it. His brows are furrowed deep. Tommy passes him the coffee. "If you want it," he says. "And—" he thinks better of it, and texts.

_I've got sleep aids, if you want them_.

Lovett ignores him. After the next rest stop, he falls fitfully asleep, ends up leaning against Tommy's shoulder.

Tommy has employees in the car. He doesn't push Lovett's hair back from his forehead. He does, however, slump down a little, hurting his back—it puts Lovett's neck at a better angle—and settles down for the ride.

LittleMousling [11:31 AM]  
His cell signal is shitty, and he can't get into a good fight on twitter without full use of both arms, so he's stuck, very shortly, with just his thoughts.

They're ... complicated.

He's glad that Lovett's asleep, that Lovett's asleep on him. That Lovett's willing to be close to him. He's glad Lovett trusts him, at least a little, with ... all of this. But it isn't what he wants.

They'd been so fucking _close_ to something, something good, before Lovett started calling out sick and sleeping instead of hanging out with them. They'd been close to the version of this Tommy wishes he could have, Lovett sleeping on his shoulder because Tommy's _his_ to sleep on. Not because he's the least worst option in the van, but because Lovett chose Tommy.

Moog [2:35 PM]  
He thinks—he thinks Lovett would have. Might have. He wasn't alone in whatever they almost had, that much he's sure of. He thinks about that, too, lets himself lean into it for this moment, transient on the road. Time doesn't feel that real when he's travelling, like he's somewhere liminal, and it makes him brave enough to lean into it, the ways Lovett would smile at him, small and secret across the office; the times they almost touched, and didn't.

LittleMousling [2:39 PM]  
It aches, but in a warm way, like poking a bruise. He wants to keep pressing on it, keep thinking about what might have been. How Tommy might have offered to buy him dinner, and taken him someplace nice, watched him smile in realization. How Lovett would be funny about it, hiding his nerves with jokes—"Are you wining and dining me, Tommy? I expect my run of the dessert cart. I'm a very expensive date."

How Tommy might have settled his calf against Lovett's under the table, like a declaration of intent. How he might have put an arm around Lovett on the walk back to the car. How nervous he would have been, as he hit the key to unlock it, as he wondered whether it was too much, too soon, to ask Lovett back to his house.

Moog [3:22 PM]  
He thinks, just for a minute, about leaning in, maybe, across the car seats, about watching Lovett's face as he realises Tommy wants to kiss him, is making it happen. About the moment before their mouths meet. About Lovett, kissing him back.

Lovett stirs, back in reality, and Tommy soothes him without thinking, like calming a puppy; nonsense words, sounds for the sake of it.

(so they have a show to do when they get to atlanta? and then another one the next day? and THEN a pod?)

Moog [3:31 PM]  
(*vaguely taps at keyboard* AND THEN THE VULNERABLE H/C WAS INTIMATE AND SOFT)

LittleMousling [3:32 PM]  
(yes! they have to get through two LOLIs with Vietor Detours and then a live PODSA and possibly a late-night LOLI after it! unless we retcon it)

Tommy should think about other things. His patter for the show tonight; the Roth IRA tweaks he's been planning to make; what he can get his sister for her birthday.

He doesn't. He keeps thinking about what could have been, if—if he'd taken Lovett home. If they'd kissed up against the front door, laughing with it, feeling awkward but too into it to mind. If they'd tripped their way up the stairs, Tommy pulling his shirt off, Lovett wanting to touch his back and his sides. If Tommy'd asked, soft-voiced, for Lovett to let Tommy suck him off.

Christ—he can't get hard in a van with two of his employees and a hired driver. This is so fucking stupid of him, every aspect of it. "How long to Atlanta?" he croaks, and Chris cracks an eye at her watch, says, "Hour, hour and a half."

Moog [4:42 PM]  
Lovett makes a stifled noise, so quiet that Tommy barely hears it over the sound of the car, of the traffic going by. Not all the way asleep, then.

"Traffic's pretty good," Tommy says. "Might be quicker."

"Yeah," Chris says, glancing back at them. Tommy represses the ridiculous urge to lean over Lovett, shield him from view. "Might be."

They pull up to the hotel about an hour later. They've got a couple hours before they need to be anywhere, and that's probably for the best; Lovett still looks drawn and miserable while they're checking in, while they're in the elevator to their room. Tommy wants to put his arm around him, tell him it's okay. He wants—he wants to be allowed to do that.

"You wanna talk about the show?" he asks, instead, and Lovett looks briefly grateful.

LittleMousling [4:45 PM]  
"Tell me what you're talking about," Lovett says, which is pretty transparently a request to let his stomach settle. Tommy's glad he asked.

"The Panama hotel thing," Tommy says. "It's sort of on the edge of—it's not natsec, but it's international, anyway, and it's hilarious. And then probably broader international dealings stuff and the relationships with foreign governments. The Kushner visa stuff."

"Any excuse to talk about the Kush," Lovett says, cracking a smile. "You're obsessed. You should just put a poster of him on your wall."

"To throw darts at," Tommy corrects, and is not at all surprised when Lovett says, "To practice kissing with."

He laughs. "Did you do that with a poster? That's what pillows are for. Were for. When I was, like, ten. Or the back of your hand."

Moog [4:51 PM]  
"If you've been kissing the back of your hand, Tommy, then we gotta get you some better—" Lovett cuts himself off. Their eyes meet in the mirrored surface of the elevator doors. Lovett changes tack. "Ten year old you sounds _smooth_."

"Yeah, well," Tommy says. "What can I say, WASP training starts young."

The hotel room this time is smaller, slightly, than in DC, the two beds closer together. Tommy goes to flip the light switch, and Lovett says, quietly, "Don't."

LittleMousling [4:55 PM]  
That's something—Lovett actually asking for something he needs. Tommy leaves the light off, rolls Lovett's bag ahead of him towards the near bed—closer to the bathroom, farther from the window—and puts his own down on the other bed. "Uh—we still have leftovers, if you want?"

Lovett shrugs. "Maybe in a while. Can you help me write fake answers for the Trump game? I was gonna do it on the drive, but—" He stops.

Moog [4:28 AM]  
"Sure," Tommy says. "What've you got?"

Lovett looks profoundly relieved that Tommy isn't pushing it, isn't making a thing of it. Of course Tommy isn't. Lovett had the stomach flu once in DC and Tommy had showered at Jon's every day until he was better, so Lovett never had to worry about needing the bathroom when Tommy was in it. It's such a central tenet of knowing and loving Lovett; knowing when to push and what not to mention.

Lovett pulls a crumpled notepad out of his bag. It's blank. He makes a face at it.

LittleMousling [9:51 AM]  
Tommy helps him—mostly it’s just a matter of letting Lovett bounce ideas off Tommy until he’s got enough rhythm to keep going, until the jokes are flowing out of him like water. It’s a pleasure to watch.

They spoon up the Thai leftovers after a while, and Lovett eats most of them, which helps soothe Tommy’s worries about whether Lovett can handle the show. Lovett’s getting vibed up for it; Tommy knows from experience he’ll get wilder through soundcheck and then be an energy ball for the show itself, impossible to look away from.

Moog [12:14 PM]  
By mutual, silent agreement, they walk to the theatre. It's not far, and Lovett wears his headphones the whole way. Tommy can't stop sneaking glances at him, his hands in his pockets, his sweater baggy over his middle. He doesn't _look_ pregnant, if you see him from a stage. Probably. Maybe.

LittleMousling [1:02 PM]  
Tommy doesn’t know how Lovett will handle the late stages—everyone knowing. People commenting and wanting to touch. Lovett’s an adult, he’ll cope, it’s whatever, but—but Tommy wants to be at Lovett’s side to tell people to back off. To keep their hands to themselves. To be the bad cop. He’d be such a good bad cop if Lovett would let him.

Moog [4:11 PM]  
Tommy wants to touch, too. He wants—god, he can't stop thinking about that moment in the stairwell, about the fading crash of adrenaline after he thought Lovett might fall, and the way his heart raced when he felt the kick himself, his and Lovett's hands pressed to Lovett's firm bump.

He's just—he's going to pull himself together and be the friend Lovett needs him to be. He is.

Soundcheck goes fine, and Lovett visibly picks up steam as the show gets nearer. Just before he heads out on stage, bouncing on his toes in the wings, nervous—always nervous, even now—he grins at Tommy, a quick flash of a thing. It's a we're in this together smile, and Tommy—helpless, earnest—smiles back.

(I figure idk Lovett flags after the show and they go back to the hotel?? Idk what the beats are between here and new orleans except at some point Lovett snaps and is like LEAVE ME ALONE and also at some point wanks in the shower)

LittleMousling [4:16 PM]  
(We should jump to Jacksonville, where he can jerk off in the shower, then maybe jump to Favs showing up? Tho does Lovett snap at both or just Tommy? Should he snap at Tommy on the way to NOLA after puking on the side of the road and then they’re cold and distant when they show up at the hotel and Favs is like HEY GUYS?)

Moog [4:38 PM]  
(I THINK THAT YYY he snaps at Tommy on the way to NOLA and then he doesn't really snap at favs so much as favs is like, "You okay? You look tired" or similar and Lovett just sort of FLIPS and then melts down in the hotel room maybe after faking through a show? Though it could be before the show)

LittleMousling [4:38 PM]  
:skull::skull: :skull:  
I love ittttt

Moog [4:39 PM]  
OUR GENIUS RIDES AGAIN

LittleMousling [4:40 PM]  
Tommy wakes up with a jolt. This isn't his house. This is—right, okay, right. They're in Jacksonville, and he's taking a pre-show nap, and that sound must be Lovett taking a shower.

He takes a couple of deep breaths. He probably won't get back to sleep, but Lovett doesn't need to know that, doesn't need to feel back about waking Tommy up. He can lie quietly for a while, wake up "naturally" once Lovett's out of the shower.

Moog [4:45 PM]  
(God also after puking his way to atlanta and jacksonville AND NOLA, Lovett is going to be in No Mood for this KIND HANDSOME MAN BEING NICE TO HIM ALL THE TIME)

Listening to the shower run is honestly quite nice. They've got the curtains pulled—Lovett can't take the light after a rough drive, it turns out—and Tommy is content to lie there on his side, curled towards the window, and listen, and not have to think.

He's almost managed not to think at all—not about Lovett's pinched expression in the van, or the elated way Lovett came off stage in Atlanta, sweaty and beaming—when there's a sudden sharp sound from the bathroom. He jerks up.

LittleMousling [4:50 PM]  
It's too much like a head smacking on tile for him not to run to the bathroom door, pound on it. "Lovett, are you okay?"

"Am—" He hears Lovett grunt from inside the bathroom. "Yes! What the fuck!"

"Sorry, heard a noise," Tommy calls. He's irritated with himself now. So much for pretending to be asleep. So much for giving Lovett fucking space. "Sorry."

Moog [5:19 PM]  
He goes back to his bed, sits down on the end. If Lovett says anything else, Tommy can't hear it. He's fine. Of course he's fine. Tommy's just... overthinking.

He pulls out his phone, tries to get interested in Twitter. Jon is picking fights again, so Emily must not be with him. His own mentions are rammed.

The shower cuts off. There's quiet, for a while—and then for a longer while—and then Lovett emerges, towelling his hair, not looking at Tommy. He's flushed all up his chest—his _bare_ chest, fuck. 

(I WAS GOING TO HAVE LOVETT EMERGE IN A TOWEL AND HAVE LEFT HIS CLOTHES IN THE BEDROOM ACCIDENTALLY FROM NEED TO GO SHOWER WANK BUT I COULDN'T MAKE IT WORK. THOUGHTS??)

LittleMousling [5:21 PM]  
(I BET WE CAN DO IT)

Moog [5:21 PM]  
(I mean then obv he would grab his clothes and go back into the bathroom to change but like, Tommy could see SKIN and BABY BUMP etc. But i couldn't work out why he would need different clothes from the ones he went into the bathroom in??? PLS GUIDE US)

LittleMousling [5:22 PM]  
(Ohhhh I see! OKAY WELL too bad his clothes got soaked because the STUPID shower curtain is TERRIBLY DESIGNED and also bc he left them in a pile on the floor!!!)

Moog [5:22 PM]  
(I have edited to help us)  
(EXCELLENT YES OKAY I LOVE IT)

LittleMousling [5:25 PM]  
Tommy needs so much to not be staring, but Lovett’s in a _towel_ , carrying soaked-wet clothes against his chest. The towel is up high, but it’s impossible to miss the soft curve of his belly under it.

If Tommy could pull his eyes up from Lovett’s body, he’d probably find Lovett glaring at him. That doesn’t seem like a reason to look up.

Lovett turns away, pointedly, bending over his suitcase to grab dry clothes, and then stomps back into the bathroom and slams the door.

_Fuck_. Tommy needs to ... go take a brisk walk. That’s the ticket.

Moog [9:35 AM]  
He walks round the block a couple times, moving fast. He should go for a run in the morning, work out some of this restless coiling energy that he won't let go where it wants. He thinks about Lovett's damp chest. He walks faster.

When he gets back, Lovett is fully dressed and very deliberately looking at his phone. Fine. They're not acknowledging it. Tommy can do that. He can, god, fucking try to give Lovett some space instead of reacting to every little thing.

LittleMousling [11:00 AM]  
He hopes Lovett doesn’t need help on a game tonight, because his head’s empty of ideas. Of anything useful.

He wonders what made the noise in the bathroom. A shampoo bottle hitting the tub?—but they only have tiny hotel shampoos. What if Lovett really did hit his head, and he’s concealing an injury? He’d made that noise—

“You didn’t hurt yourself, right? Before? Just—“

Moog [3:46 PM]  
"Fucking hell, Tommy." Lovett looks up, frustrated. "No, I didn't. You already asked me, all right? What's this, this, shower obsession now? I... slipped, all right? Is that what you wanted to hear?"

It is very much not what Tommy wanted to hear but—there's something about Lovett's expression that's making it not seem... true.

LittleMousling [3:54 PM]  
“I just—if you hit your head, like, we can get that checked out—I just want to make sure—“ Tommy is keeping himself from peppering Lovett with _sorry_ , but he’s pretty sure everything about the way he’s explaining himself sounds apologetic anyway. It’s not how Tommy likes to speak, to conduct himself, but everything with Lovett is so fucking off-kilter and uncertain, lately.

Moog [4:53 PM]  
"Fucking—" Lovett cuts himself off, making an odd noise in his throat. He's not looking at Tommy. "I was jerking off, okay? Are you happy? I slipped because I was jerking off. I'm not hurt, just—stop talking about it. Let's stop talking about it. I'll start, see, I'm not talking about it now."

LittleMousling [4:57 PM]  
Tommy's pretty sure he's never going to talk again. Or move, or breathe. _Jesus_. Lovett was—while Tommy was _napping_. While Tommy was _in the same hotel room_. Tommy doesn't object to that on principle—fuck, obviously Lovett jerked off in their old house in DC, with Tommy across the hall. There's nothing wrong with it. It's just—he was _right there_. If Tommy had x-ray vision, he could have watched him, seen the whole thing, seen everything.

It's certainly fucking all he can see behind his eyes right now.

Moog [5:27 PM]  
Lovett, under the spray of water, every inch of him bare. His hand around his dick, going fast, probably, in case Tommy woke up, fuck, maybe he was looking down past the sweet curve of his belly to his dick in his hand, working himself fast and good and—

Did he slip as he came, Tommy wonders, or did Tommy interrupt him? What if—what if Tommy had heard—

He wrenches his mind back with an effort, knowing he's gone red, knowing he can't stop it. "Uh," he says, floundering "um—you want to run through the show outline?"

LittleMousling [5:30 PM]  
Lovett tosses his laptop onto the bed hard enough that Tommy hears a foreboding noise as it shuts. "From the bottom of my heart, _no_ ," Lovett says. He grabs his phone and his key card and he's just—gone.

Tommy looks at the clock, at the door. Maybe—maybe _he_ needs a shower.

Moog [7:38 AM]  
He does shower, in the end; hurried, in case Lovett comes back and thinks—whatever, whatever he might think. That Tommy's avoiding him. That Tommy's mocking him. That Tommy's.... doing what he's doing, stripping his dick so fast it's almost not even good, except of _course_ it's good, even through the guilt, thinking about Lovett doing the same thing just here. Maybe he braced himself like this. Maybe he tipped his head back like this. Maybe he—

LittleMousling [7:44 AM]  
Maybe Tommy would know what it was like, if they’d gotten it together sooner, if Tommy hadn’t lingered in the nervous joy of it all, of the anticipation, the flirting. Maybe he’d be jerking Lovett off in the shower, Lovett’s cock hot in his hand and Lovett’s _belly_ , warm and rounded between them.

Maybe Tommy would pull Lovett out of the bathroom and lay him out on the bed and—

He comes, hand stuttering on his cock, breath catching and holding. Christ. He has to—not do this, anymore. It’s not happening. Lovett doesn’t want him anymore.

He just has to fucking accept that.

(And now jump to pre-NOLA argument?)

Moog [7:45 AM]  
Seems good!!!

LittleMousling [8:13 AM]  
Imagine Lovett doing this from Atlanta to Jacksonville and Jacksonville to NOLA :joy: https://twitter.com/Nicole_Cliffe/status/971591214536339462  
Nicole Cliffe@Nicole_Cliffe  
I have just discovered a MASSIVE lifehack: as someone who gets carsick as a passenger but not a driver, HOLDING AN IMAGINARY STEERING WHEEL AND MAKING THE TURNS WORKS? See also: imaginary gas and brake stepping? It relieved 80% of my desire to puke!

Moog [8:14 AM]  
Agdhfj LOVETT

Moog [4:08 PM]  
Back in the van the next day, Tommy is heartily and sincerely grateful that their driving stint is almost done. Lovett is clearly exhausted this morning, huddled grey-eyed against the backseat window, and Tommy has left him to it. Space. That's probably what they need.

LittleMousling [4:10 PM]  
Except—when he has to puke again, what’s Tommy supposed to do? Stay in the van? Leave him out there alone for everyone driving by to gawk at?

He can’t. He climbs out to stand between Lovett and the road.

Moog  
Lovett stays bent over for a while, after the worst of it, shuddering. He's bracing himself on the van again, and when he stands up, he wobbles. Tommy moves in, steadies him with a hand on his back. For a second, just a second, Lovett leans into the touch.

They've got hours to go before they hit New Orleans.

LittleMousling [8:44 AM]  
“Are you gonna be okay?” Tommy asks. Fuck, he’s miserable at this giving-Lovett-space thing.

“I’m fine,” Lovet says, bitingly, pulling away from Tommy’s touch.

“You don’t seem fine—“

“Thanks for the diagnosis, Dr. Vietor! I don’t think I asked!”

Moog [9:32 AM]  
Tommy fights back an unreasonable swell of irritation. "I just meant—"

"I don't care!" Lovett turns on him. He looks—awful, admittedly. Tommy does not point this out. "I don't care what you meant! Stop fucking meaning it!"

LittleMousling [9:43 AM]  
Tommy's angry, now, feels it swelling in him. He fights to keep it down. "I'm your _friend_ , I'm supposed to fucking care when you're throwing your guts up on the side of the highway."

Lovett's mouth moves, his chest heaves. He looks so furious that Tommy takes a step back from him. " _Don't_ ," Lovett says, finally. "Don't fucking talk to me. I don't want to hear one goddamn word for the rest of this godforsaken trip."

As fast as it rose, Tommy's anger is replaced with frustration and sadness. There’s a prickling behind his eyes. He turns and gets back in the van, in the bucket seat next to Chris instead of in one of the rows of back seats like before. Lovett doesn't get in for another minute, climbs right into the far back and lies down.

Tommy nudges Chris, silently. "We can go now," Chris tells the driver. They go.

Moog [9:51 AM]  
They don't pull over again until the next rest stop. Tommy doesn't let himself turn round to check on Lovett—there's concern and then there's stupidity—but he doesn't need to; as soon as the van pulls to a stop, he can hear the back door being wrenched open and Lovett retching, miserably, just out of the van. Tommy wants to get him some water, or tell him not to be so _stupid_ —if he needs them to pull over, they'll pull over, regardless of whatever's happening between the two of them. It's not worth hurting himself over—but instead he heads inside with Corinne and Chris. He does buy water, though. An extra bottle. Just... in case.

LittleMousling [9:54 AM]  
(TOMMY :sob:)

Moog [9:55 AM]  
(THEY'RE BOTH DOING FINE WHY DO YOU ASK THIS IS FINE IT'S ALL FINE NO ONE IS GOING TO HAVE A MELTDOWN IN A HOTEL ROOM AND CRY SNOTTILY INTO ANYONE ELSE'S CHEST)

LittleMousling [9:58 AM]  
He gets back to the van before Lovett. When he scans the parking lot, he finds Lovett walking slowly in the green area on the far end, where people take their dogs. There aren't any dogs out there now, just Lovett taking slow steps and deep breaths, chest rising visibly even at this distance. Lovett pauses, bends over with his hands on his knees, and Tommy tenses to run to him, even though he _can't_ , he really fucking can't.

Lovett stands up again, and Tommy turns away, climbs back into the van. He tosses the extra water into the backseat that's littered with Lovett's stuff. Maybe Lovett will think it's from Corinne and drink it, if he thinks he can keep it down.

Moog [10:21 AM]  
Tommy keeps his eyes closed for the next part of the drive. He doesn't want to try and talk to anyone, or be involved in any conversation, and all things considered, it just seems better.

He doesn't sleep—of course he doesn't—but time passes differently like this, lulled into liminality by the rush of the cars outside and the low undercurrent of the radio. Then, in the background: a bottle being opened. Lovett, drinking. Tommy squeezes his eyes tighter closed, turns his face to the window. They've just got to get to New Orleans and Jon and Emily will be there. Maybe—maybe Lovett will take comfort better from them.

LittleMousling [10:31 AM]  
He knows they've hit New Orleans when they start stopping and accelerating, stopping and accelerating, traffic and red lights. It's enough to make Tommy feel sick; he can't imagine how Lovett feels. "Almost there," Chris announces, which feels like a kindness. The van's been so quiet since his fight with Lovett; it's not as though the staff and even the driver could have missed the tension between them, even if they couldn't hear the fight. He hopes they couldn't hear the fight.

They pull up in front of a B&B surrounded by lush greenery. It's a single, spread-out story, painted a bold lilac with tangerine trim. It's very, very New Orleans.

Moog [11:59 AM]  
Lovett staggers a little getting out of the van—honestly, most of them do; they've been driving a lot in the past few days and, if Tommy is any representation of the others, feel cramped and awkward, strung between adrenaline highs and daytime naps—and Tommy steadies him without thinking about it, like he would _anyone_.

"Don't," Lovett bites out, as soon as he's got his feet, and pulls away again. Right. Yes. Tommy should have known better.

Walking into the B&B, Tommy feels like he's forgotten something, but he has all his things on him. It takes catching Lovett out of the corner of his eye, tiredly trundling his own suitcase along, for him to realise he's expecting the weight of Lovett's stuff too.

LittleMousling [12:15 PM]  
Lovett stands off to the side while Chris checks them in, texting. Tommy's not surprised when Favs and Emily appear from the back, looking rested and happy in a way Tommy wishes didn't make him irritated with them. "Hey guys!" Favs says, booming through the small lobby space. "The pool in this place is great, you gotta come chill with us before soundcheck."

Lovett snorts, and then Emily's wrapped around him like a limpet, talking about the flight and a gecko outside their room. Lovett says something to Chris, and then shoulders only his daypack and follows Emily back down the hallway.

Well—fine. Fine. Tommy has another burst of wanting to ask Chris to change up the room situation somehow—how? Him and Favs in one room, Lovett and Emily in another? They might even go for that, if he asked. He doesn't ask. He takes the key, old-fashioned metal on a "don't lose this" giant block of wood, and lets himself, his stuff, and Lovett's suitcase into room six.

Moog [12:16 PM]  
(when are we thinking favs says something? pre-show? post-show?)

LittleMousling [12:18 PM]  
(hmmmmm maybe he texts Tommy and Tommy's like "leave it alone" and so he waits until post-show?)

Moog [12:49 PM]  
Being in the empty hotel room is nice, in a sort of empty way. He makes himself a sub-par coffee and kicks his shoes off, sprawls on his bed—nearest the window—and cracks the book he hasn't touched since the plane. He makes himself leave his phone charging across the room. He's got a watch, after all, and Lovett is with Emily, who is frankly the best person to have on your side in emergencies, save perhaps Alyssa. He lets himself drift. He doesn't let himself think about Lovett, or about how he's fucking even their fucking friendship up by being... over-protective, at best.

(OH I meant to put in there something about how these beds are real close together LET'S SQUASH THEM IN TOGETHER PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY. THE ROOM SIZE IS A METAPHOR ETC ETC)

LittleMousling [1:04 PM]  
It's not until Lovett comes in, head down, that Tommy really clocks the closeness of the quarters in here. It's not that much smaller than the other hotel rooms this trip, but the beds are closer together, and with Lovett maneuvering around, the whole place feels too small, like the walls are pressing in. Lovett just opens his suitcase on the other bed, pulls some clothes out, and is gone, just like that, with Tommy still staring resolutely at his book.

Well—fine. Fine.

Across the room, Tommy's phone buzzes. He groans, and goes to check it, because it's not as though he's actually making progress on his reading right now. It's Favs. _Hey, is something up?_

Tommy's known Favs a long time, knows Favs can handle Tommy at his worst and most irritable, so he just texts back, _Leave it alone_ and flips the switch to silence notifications. He turns the phone upside down and goes back to the bed.

Moog [2:45 PM]  
He stares at the page a while but honestly doesn't take anything in. He's going to have to talk to Lovett sometime; they can't just keep this up forever. They work together, for one thing, and for the other, they're—this. Friends. More than friends. Even if they've passed out of maybes and into lost chances, Tommy doesn't want to lose Lovett or have this fester just because Tommy worries too much, because he can't let the fuck go.

(I AM NOT SURE IF I AM HITTING GOOD TOMMY BEATS HERE)

LittleMousling [2:49 PM]  
Before the show or after? They're both shitty choices. Before means not being tense and weird during—unless he makes it worse, which so far would be par for the course. After, at least they can really have it out, really fucking say whatever has to be said, for as long as it takes. With alcohol, even—fuck, no, can't even do that, because. Because Lovett's _pregnant_. Tommy's planning out a fight with a pregnant person. Fuck.

After. After, because it's almost soundcheck time already, and because Tommy's a fucking coward and he just ... can't, yet.

Moog [4:50 PM]  
The soundcheck is... fine. Tommy tries to pull it together, be fucking professional at least. Jon keeps giving him looks that he clearly thinks are subtle, but Tommy stubbornly ignores them all. They're quiet backstage. Lovett still looks shattered.

LittleMousling [5:02 PM]  
He's on for the show though, as it turns out. Maybe more on than usual—more cutting than usual, for sure, but the audience eats it up. Favs seems to think it's hilarious. It _is_ hilarious, but—pure mean isn't Lovett's style, and it's weird, listening to it, feeling outside himself. Like he's watching the show and not participating in it. He does participate, at least as far as his outline is concerned, just—whatever. It's whatever.

He wishes the show wouldn't end, despite all of that. He'll take this over whatever's coming after, in the soundproofed greenroom where they did the ad reads after soundcheck.

It ends. He files offstage, waits for Corinne and Chris and the local people to head off for drinks. Texts Emily to take Jon somewhere, please, that isn't here. Emily texts Jon, he thinks, because Jon starts to leave, then stops and says, "Look, just—don't take forever, okay? Lovett looks really tired."

Lovett, well within hearing distance, looks up. "Just—you know, I'm worried about you," Jon says. He shrugs, and heads for the door. 

Moog [6:32 PM]  
"What does that mean?" Lovett straightens up. He's taken his sweatshirt off and the t-shirt underneath is sweat-stained at the armpits and neck. It's catching on the bump of his belly. The door is swinging shut behind Jon; Lovett rounds on Tommy. "Why are you all—you all—" his voice sounds odd "—so _worried_?"

LittleMousling [6:33 PM]  
This isn't exactly the talk Tommy thought they'd need to have, but—fine. _Fine_. "Because you're pregnant, and carsick, and our friend, and—fucking pissy as hell," he adds, because it's true. "Because you're, like, half puking and half yelling lately and it sucks, and we worry about you, because you're our FRIEND."

Moog [9:28 AM]  
"That doesn't mean—you don't have, whatever, sugarcoat stuff. I know I'm—I'm—" his throat works "—fuck. This fucking sucks, Tommy. What did you want to say?"

Tommy's pretty sure that there's something _Lovett_ wants to say. His mouth is tight, his shoulders tense. He looks like he's hitting fight or flight and hasn't made a decision yet

LittleMousling [9:32 AM]  
Tommy takes a deep breath, tries to relax the muscles in his jaw. "I just—I know you don't like, uh, help, or people seeing you when you're not at your best, and stuff, but I thought—I thought you could let me in, at least. Not everybody, just—me. And Jon," he adds, belatedly.

Moog [1:40 PM]  
(... have we MADE Lovett sick on tour for real??)

LittleMousling [3:11 PM]  
(Omg is he sick?? I’ve been in a movie)

Moog [3:16 PM]  
(HE IS we did this we are witches)

LittleMousling [3:18 PM]  
(OOPS. Better fix it. Re: the argument, are they gonna get it all out on the table?)

Moog [3:18 PM]  
(He couldn't do the pod with Axe because he's too sick so Favs went instead)  
(Hmm maybe like, Tommy says his piece and then they get interrupted and have to go back to the hotel and then when it's a million percent sure no one can see, Lovett just loses it?)

LittleMousling [3:19 PM]  
(Perfect!)

Moog [3:25 PM]  
Lovett—doesn't say anything. His shoulders are drawn up tight, defensive. Tommy just.. well, he's started, and he doesn't believe in leaving something unfinished.

"And I know I've been... over-bearing this trip, and I'm sorry. I—it's something I need to work on. Just because I—because we—because of what I might have wanted—" he can feel himself going, inevitably, red "—doesn't mean I have any right to push any boundaries. And, at the same time, Lovett, god; it's okay to be having a rough fucking time. We've both seen worse."

LittleMousling [3:36 PM]  
Lovett looks, all at once, deflated and filling up with something bad, frustration or irritation or anger. Tommy lets him try to find it, watches the emotions crossing his face. Lovett finally opens his mouth, and then the door opens, someone coming through it and stopping short at the sight of them.

"Oh, uh—you guys are still here? I can come back."

The guy's carrying a mop and bucket, and it's eleven at night. Tommy's never been that kind of jerk, frustrating as this is.

"No, no, we'll—we should get back to our hotel. Uh, great venue, thanks for—yeah."

Moog [5:37 PM]  
He looks back at Lovett, who nods, and follows him out. The walk to the hotel is... quiet. Tommy thinks of roughly twenty things to say and says none of them. Lovett keeps his hands in his pockets the whole time.

They're quiet in the elevator, and in the hallway. They get into their room, and Tommy closes the door, and Lovett— _fuck_ —bursts into tears.  
(Y/n??? I figure he's been holding that back some)

LittleMousling [5:37 PM]  
(YES ALWAYS)  
(anyway he's hormonal AND he's Lovett, who cries pretty easily anyway)

LittleMousling [5:43 PM]  
Tommy is not great with tears at the best of times; with the prickliest possible version of Lovett, he's completely fucking flummoxed. Is he allowed to comfort Lovett? To hug him? He doesn't know what the fuck to do with his hands.

Tissues, he can at least—tissues. There's a box in the bathroom, but it's weird and ceramic, so Tommy just pulls a bunch of them out to take to Lovett. "Uh—here," he says, wishing he had the slightest fucking clue what to say.

Moog [5:54 PM]  
Lovett has his face in his hands, shoulders heaving. It's not quiet crying; it's not even the frustrated tears Lovett ends up in on the regular, swearing and wiping his eyes on his sleeve. It's just—it's like he's hit a wall, or flipped a switch; like he's been shoving stuff into a cupboard that's already over capacity and the flimsy door finally just broke.

"Lovett," Tommy says, feeling useless. " _Jon_."

(I feel like that scene from Green Wing of Mac just yelling FUCKING HUG)

LittleMousling [6:06 PM]  
It just keeps going and going, long enough that continuing to hover over Lovett feels impossible. He has to—Lovett can shove him off if he wants, but Tommy _has_ to at least try to wrap his arms around Lovett and comfort him.

Lovett doesn't shove him off. Lovett presses his face into Tommy's shoulder, wetting his t-shirt through to the skin almost instantly, and clings to Tommy's back. Tommy squeezes him, just enough so Lovett knows he's here, that he's paying attention. That he cares.

Moog [6:55 PM]  
Lovett's grip on the back of Tommy's t-shirt gets tighter. The swell of his belly is pressing between them; Tommy can feel the curve of it. He wants to turn his face, kiss Lovett's curls. He wants to cup the back of Lovett's neck, give him something warm and grounding to anchor himself with. He holds him.

LittleMousling [7:51 PM]  
Eventually, Lovett's hitching breaths start evening out. Tommy feels Lovett wipe his nose on Tommy's shoulder and feels safe to say, "Ew," gets a soft laugh out of Lovett. He makes himself let go and step back. "So, um. Feel better?"

"Fuck if I know," Lovett tells him, wiping his eyes. He goes and sits cross-legged on the near bed—his bed—elbows on his knees. "It's just so—it sucks, Tommy. The physical stuff and everyone watching me like a fucking hawk and the, I don't fucking know, the hormones. I just—" His voice breaks, and he hangs his head, directing the words at his belly. "I wasn't supposed to be doing this alone. That was never—when I thought about having kids, it was supposed to be—" He cuts off, wipes his eyes again.

Moog [10:39 AM]  
Tommy physically cannot allow himself to imagine the end of that sentence. He drops down onto the opposite bed and reaches for Lovett's hand. "You're not doing this alone," he says. God, he's red right now, can feel it embarrassing and obvious all down his neck. "I mean, I know it's not—it's not what you imagined, but we're here. I—" he makes his voice quieter, just to get the words out. This isn't about him, he reminds himself. It's the furthest thing from about him. "I'm here."

(At some point we should have Lovett be like AND I'M FAILING THE COMPANY AND LETTING YOU ALL DOWN BECAUSE OF MY STUPID WEAK PREGNANT BODY, y?)  
(Also lal was like THE TWO OF YOU HAVE USED LESBIAN WITCHCRAFT TO MAKE LOVETT ILL)

LittleMousling [10:40 AM]  
(WE DID. WE DID DO THAT. SORRY, LOVETT D:)  
"That's the fucking—none of you should have to be here! You should be able to focus on the company and your own lives, not—not making time to deal with my, my inability to handle something that, like, solidly a third of the humans who've ever lived have dealt with. Probably more than that. Two fifths. Three sevenths. I don't know. But _they_ all managed it without upending everything and just—falling apart, and—" He stops, hitching a sob, and Tommy climbs over to Lovett's bed, kneeling right next to him with a hand on his back.

"That's really stupid," he tells Lovett. "Just so you know."

Moog [2:09 PM]  
Lovett sniffs in hard. "Thanks, Tommy, now I feel much better. Stupid, cool, that's cool."

"You know what I mean." Tommy just wants—god, if things were different. If he were allowed to touch Lovett the way he wants to. Comfort him the way he wants. Hug him in close again and kiss his curls and have Lovett know Tommy doesn't _have_ to do anything. That he really, really wants to be.

LittleMousling [4:29 PM]  
“You’re doing amazing. None of those people you’re talking about didn’t have help. You worked for Hillary! It takes a village! And even if you prefer—I mean obviously you decided—even if you want to be a single parent, that’s, like, that doesn’t mean I don’t want to help you with whatever parts you’ll let me. That’s not anything but like, normal. Everybody needs help sometimes.”

Moog [4:39 PM]  
(Oooh wait does Tommy still think some josh knocked him up)

LittleMousling [4:41 PM]  
(YES. That Lovett decided to become a single parent and basically dropped the promising flirtations with Tommy to achieve his goal)

Moog [4:42 PM]  
(Ahdjtk NOO BABY)

LittleMousling [4:42 PM]  
(I do feel like Tommy might be TOO obvious and maybe he should be like "... and Jon and everybody, too. Spencer. Your mom. Everyone wants to help you" but I bet Lovett's gonna zoom in anyway)

(Lovett DID NOT CHOOSE THIS, THANKS VERY MUCH)

(He even ALREADY SAID THAT, are you even LISTENING, TOMMY? but Tommy thought he meant, like, he planned to have a partner but the clock was ticking so whatever, it didn't happen, he went a different way)

Moog [4:50 PM]  
(I'm assuming magical wish babies are a Known Thing, if, like, unexpected)

LittleMousling [4:50 PM]  
(excellent point)

Moog [5:05 PM]  
"I _hate_ it," Lovett says, low, and then, quickly, "not—not, like—" he puts a hand over his belly. Tommy can't help put look; Lovett touches the bump so rarely around them, even now the baby kicks. He's been self-conscious about this, about every single stage of it. "I don't hate _this_ , it's not—I don't—"

Tommy rubs his back. "Lovett, hey, I know. I know what you mean. I'm—we're all here, for whatever. Whatever you're okay with."

LittleMousling [5:07 PM]  
Lovett shakes his head, frustrated. "I just—this wasn't how it was supposed to go," he says again.

It's not like Tommy can imagine, exactly, what pregnancy would really be like, or the prospect of single parenting. But—"You read stuff, first, right? Like, when you decided to, um, to have one? Like—this is normal, I think. Being kind of sick and scared. Or if it's a lot more than normal, maybe you should talk to your OB?"

Moog [5:34 PM]  
Lovett scrubs at his eyes. "It's normal," he says. "Everyone keeps telling me how _normal_ it is. Even the, uh, method of, of conception hasn't fucking fazed anyone, even though statistically it's, like, oh, some random schlub in WeHo, sure, knock him up, that's probable."

LittleMousling [5:37 PM]  
(realizing the Flaw in my Vision is that Lovett didn't know he was pregnant until the doctor's appointment with Tommy. Whatever, Tommy is forgetful when he's sad and repressing things?????)

"The, uh, the sperm donor was a random schlub?" Tommy asks, trying for gentle but possibly landing closer to judgmental.

Moog [5:37 PM]  
(WHATEVER WHATEVER WHATEVER IT'S OUR ID VERSE WE'LL MAKE IT WORK)

Moog [5:42 PM]  
(Tommy can maybe think, like, Lovett didn't expect it to happen so soon or smth? WHATEVER WE'LL RETCON)

LittleMousling [5:45 PM]  
(YUP. Or maybe Lovett Knew the moment it happened but then convinced himself he was imagining things and when Tommy dragged him to the doctor he sort of knew what was going to happen but was trying to pretend otherwise)

Moog [5:47 PM]  
"The sperm donor?" Lovett looks up, properly. His eyes are red; his face is blotchy. "What—Tommy, you know there wasn't a fucking sperm donor. It's not like—it's not like I picked the worst fucking time deliberately, it's not like I was like, great, great, single media mogul touring with burgeoning company for the American dream, best put a baby in me to really kick this productivity habit."

LittleMousling [5:51 PM]  
"Oh," Tommy says. So it hadn't been—it hadn't been _fully_ a decision, then. Not _gonna focus on the future instead of—_ , well, instead of whatever they might have had, which clearly wouldn't have been long-term in Lovett's eyes. Maybe the decision was more, _if this is already happening, do I go with it._

" _Oh?_ What, you thought I just decided to upend my whole goddamn life and raise a kid by myself?" Lovett's chin trembles again. Tommy can't take it, can't watch Lovett cry again.

"No, sorry, I just—you're gonna be fine, it's all gonna work out fine, I know you can handle it. So it made sense you'd—I mean, you know. You like to just go and do things, you've always just ... gone and done things. Applying for the speechwriting job and moving to LA and pitching a show—you've got, like, the best way of throwing yourself at stuff of anyone I know. It made sense you'd, um, if you decided not to waste time anymore on—on—if you decided to just go ahead and get started, you'd do it."

Moog [6:44 PM]  
"What if," Lovett says, and his voice is trembling too now, fuck, "Tommy, what if I can't do it? What if I fuck it up?"

This one is easy. This one is the most certain Tommy can be, trusting and sure down to the core of Lovett's good, kind heart. "You won't," Tommy says. "I know you. You won't."

LittleMousling [6:46 PM]  
Lovett shakes his head. "It's—you can put a nice spin on it, but what I _actually_ do is make rash decisions. 'Oh, gonna fill out this application on a Bolt Bus! Might quit my really good job to bum around LA! Gonna idly wish for a baby and just, boom!'"

Oh. _Oh_. "You—wished?" Tommy asks. "It wasn't, uh—it wasn't an accidental, um, an unplanned—it wasn't like a broken condom situation?"

Moog [6:59 PM]  
Lovett barks out a laugh. It doesn't sound funny. "Yeah, that's what happened," he says. "I thought I'd just really fuck over this great guy who—who maybe—" he cuts off. Tommy's heart feels like he's run a goddamn marathon, it's beating so embarrassingly fast. What are you supposed to do when someone walks up to the line of what you've hoped for and stops before they touch the edge?

LittleMousling [7:01 PM]  
"I, um. I didn't think you would. I thought you—" Christ, is he actually gonna say any of this? Lovett doesn't need this, after everything else. But his heart's pounding, and if they never, ever talk about it he's pretty sure he'll die of it. He just needs to hear it. "I mean, I thought you decided to just—get on with your life, you know. The long-term plans part, not the—not whatever, like. Short-term ideas you might have had before you decided."

Moog [7:13 PM]  
Lovett stares at him. "I didn't decide anything," he says. "I—you weren't an _idea_ , Tommy. You were—I wanted—and who would want _this_?" He gestures at himself, his round stomach, his sweaty t-shirt. Him. "I wished for a, a, family. I didn't want to lose—"

LittleMousling [7:19 PM]  
"Oh," Tommy says. "You—you didn't, um. I thought you, like. Changed your mind. After all the, um, in the spring."

Lovett takes a long breath, and then another. "I thought _you_ changed your mind, because I was—you know—"

"I really don't," Tommy tells him, fervently, and kisses him, hand on the warm skin of Lovett's jaw.

Moog [6:04 AM]  
It's just as heady as he thought it would be. Lovett opens his mouth, sweet and surprised, and leans into the kiss, giving back. His jaw is turning to stubble under Tommy's palm and he tastes like he's exhausted, and it's the best thing Tommy's ever felt.

LittleMousling [9:15 AM]  
Lovett shifts toward him, getting a hand on Tommy's neck like he really wants to keep him close. Tommy's dreamed about this, jerked off thinking about it, tried very hard not to think about it. Nothing, _nothing_ , truly lived up to the reality of having Lovett kissing him _back_. Tommy could do this forever.

Moog [4:44 PM]  
Tommy is twisted weirdly to make this happen, balanced on his knees, and Lovett's breath is starting to hitch, warm, against his mouth.

When they pull apart, Lovett's eyes are dark and his mouth looks... his mouth looks... Tommy kisses him again.

LittleMousling [4:49 PM]  
Tommy wants to touch him everywhere, and doesn't know what's on the table. He slides a hand onto Lovett's thigh, just to try it, and maybe a little bit for balance, too. Lovett _mmphs_ into his mouth, and it sounds like a good _mmph_ , a welcoming _mmph_ , so Tommy strokes his thumb in circles around Lovett's inseam. 

Moog [5:02 PM]  
Lovett's thigh is thick and warm under Tommy's hand, strong, and, when Tommy presses a little harder with his thumb, Lovett jerks, hands tightening on Tommy's arms. "Okay?" Tommy checks, just—just in case, and Lovett nods, hard.

LittleMousling [5:04 PM]  
If that didn't break the spell, Tommy figures he's okay to move, now. He climbs to Lovett's other side, says, "Come down here with me?" and lays himself out on the bed, sideways, facing Lovett.

Lovett swallows, looking him over, and starts to unfurl and follow him.

Moog [5:18 PM]  
Tommy gets to _look_ at him, finally, really look at him. Lovett's gorgeous shoulders, the unignorable curve of his belly, the way he moves with care for it, lying himself down next to Tommy. "I've wanted you for so long," Tommy says. It comes out almost before he can think about it. "Lovett, you—you're so—" and Lovett kisses him, a little desperately.  
(Lovett is hornier and easier to come when knocked up y/y)

LittleMousling [5:22 PM]  
Tommy pulls him in with a hand on his back, wanting to feel Lovett pressed up against him, his belly and—yes—the bulge of his cock, under it, not quite as obvious until Tommy slides a leg between Lovett's. Lovett wraps a leg over Tommy, extremely unsubtle, and Tommy laughs and runs a hand up it until he's cupping Lovett's hip.

Moog [5:56 PM]  
Lovett rocks against him, just slightly, enough for Tommy to more than get the hint. He's thought about this so much, so long. Admittedly he didn't really think Lovett would have been a few minutes out of a crying jag but the way Lovett is kissing him, not holding back, the way he's rocking for friction—Tommy isn't going to make him wait.

LittleMousling [5:59 PM]  
"I can—" Tommy says, and lets his hand finish the sentence for him, sliding down and rounding over the shape in Lovett's sweats. _Jesus_ , Tommy's wanted this. He can't squeeze much, but he tries, and Lovett hisses through his teeth and pushes into Tommy's hand.

"You can," Lovett tells him, breathy, not quite an echo of Tommy's half-sentence. Tommy gets the point, though, and finds the waistband, slips his hand under it.

Moog [6:28 PM]  
He gets under Lovett's boxers too, and then he's got his hand around Lovett's cock. Lovett hisses like he's sensitive, more so than a regular handjob, and then says, "Don't—don't stop."

He's hot in Tommy's hand, hard, and slick at the tip, and it's all Tommy can do not to groan. He gets to do this. He gets to do this with Lovett. "Fuck, I want—I—" he tries, and gives up, and starts jerking. His wrist bumps Lovett's belly as he moves, which shouldn't, really really shouldn't, be as desperately hot as it is.

LittleMousling [6:33 PM]  
"Is—I'm not gonna hurt, um, the baby, right?"

"Don't talk about the baby right now," Lovett hisses, and then, "It's fine, it's, but here," and wriggles his sweats and boxers down, enough that Tommy can move more freely. Enough that Tommy can _see_ him, hard and gorgeous in Tommy's fist, with a pearl of precum that's begging to be licked off his slit.

Moog [5:50 AM]  
Later, he thinks, later he's going to take Lovett in his mouth and taste him, suck him until Lovett sobs from it, from how good Tommy can make him feel. Right now, he wants this, the two of them pressed close, Lovett's breath coming hot and urgent on Tommy's skin. Tommy swipes his thumb over Lovett's slit, rubs, and Lovett goes tense all over.

"Tommy," he grits, face almost embarrassed. "Tommy, fuck—"

LittleMousling [8:27 AM]  
He seems overcome, trembling a little, hand fixed on Tommy's hip. They're still _dressed_ , and he's—Tommy thinks he's going to come, and Tommy's going to get to watch it, get to do it to him. "You feel so good," Tommy tells him, voice cracking on it. Lovett's cock in his hand feels as good as if Tommy's dick was being touched, instead; it's lighting up all the nerves in his fingers, making his whole brain hum with sexsexsexsex. He feels like a teenager, in the best way.

Moog [11:46 AM]  
Lovett shoves into his fist, once, graceless, and Tommy bursts like a dam. "So good, Lovett," he says, "you look so fucking good, fuck, wanted to watch you forever, wanted to see you like this. You were—I couldn't stop thinking about what you said, about you in, in the shower, and i just wanted to fucking _touch_ you—" Lovett whimpers "—that's it, that's it, let me see."

LittleMousling [11:49 AM]  
Maybe Lovett's the one of them more like a teenager, today; he tips his head against Tommy's chest, hiding his face, and comes. It splashes the bed as much as Tommy's hand, and Tommy will need to leave a good tip for the housekeeper for sure, but right now he can't focus on anything except _this_ , except Lovett warm and wanting in front of him. On Lovett coming for him. "That's so fucking good," Tommy tells him, and forces himself to let go before Lovett gets too sensitive, even though he just wants to hold Lovett's cock forever, maybe.

Moog [11:49 AM]  
[A VERY VALID NEED FROM THOMAS FREDERICK VIETOR RIGHT THERE]

LittleMousling [11:50 AM]  
(I can't tell if this is about holding Lovett's dick or about tipping well but frankly, BOTH :joy:)

Moog [12:15 PM]  
Lovett shivers, after, and won't look up, pressing close to Tommy, his grip still tight. Tommy gets it, he really does. Sometimes after he's come, he just needs to be held. He hasn't really... looked... at that, yet. He kisses the top of Lovett's head, and holds onto him. Lovett's t-shirt is grimy anyway; it can stand Tommy's wet hand.

Moog [12:39 PM]  
(Lovett really really wants to touch Tommy's dick y/y/yyy)

LittleMousling [1:04 PM]  
(Lovett is OBSESSED, y/y/y/)  
Lovett says, in that blustery voice he uses sometimes when he's afraid of being shot down, "So—that was obviously amazing for you, what are we gonna do for me now?"

Tommy laughs, and kisses Lovett's curls again. "It really fucking was, though," he says. "And you could, um. Anything, really. I'm—like, a stiff breeze would feel great, right at this moment."

Moog [1:07 PM]  
(YES also at some point we should write them having a competition over, like, a few days or something whereby whoever makes the other one come the most times wins)

Lovett tilts his head up, eyes wide. "You're—really?"

Tommy nods. It's all he can do not to reach down and adjust himself in his jeans, and some of that need must show on his face, because Lovett's expression changes, to a soft, devastating amazement, and then a more familiar one that means he's getting a plan.

LittleMousling [1:27 PM]  
“You should take your shirt off,” Lovett says, imperious now. “And the rest, while you’re at it.”

Tommy can do that. Tommy can definitely do that. He shimmies off the far side of the bed, peels out of his t-shirt. He thinks he looks good, if lobster-red. If Lovett didn’t like lobsters, they wouldn’t have even gotten to the kissing stage, so no point worrying about that now.

Moog [1:37 PM]  
He strips out of his jeans without letting himself think about it and, when he pauses with his thumbs hooked under his boxers, Lovett says, "And the rest, Tommy, c'mon, weren't you listening?" so Tommy shucks those too, steps out of the pile of clothes, and looks up. Lovett is looking back at him, and Tommy sees him swallow, which is flattering. More than flattering. Really fucking hot. 

LittleMousling [1:40 PM]  
“Now come back,” Lovett says. “I’m comfortable.”

Tommy laughs again, and knee-walks over to him, starts to lie back down. “Hmm,” Lovett says. “Maybe—no, no, that’s fine.”

“Uh,” Tommy says. He’s paused halfway down. “Did you want something else?”

“I was just thinking—you could come up here, instead,” Lovett says, tentative. “I could roll over a bit, you could—if you want—I could suck you off.”

Moog [1:46 PM]  
Tommy's dick actually twitches, which is probably answer enough. "You—you want to?"

Lovett laughs, a bit self-deprecating. "Yeah, Tommy," he says. He's clearly aiming for bravado again, but he's missing it. "Yeah, I really do. What—what do you think I was thinking about, um, in the shower?"

LittleMousling [1:55 PM]  
 _Not that,_ Tommy manages not to say. “Oh god,” comes out instead, which, in the circumstances, he can live with.

“If that’s a yes, you’re gonna need to move up here,” Lovett says. “I already said I’m comfortable. Just—curl yourself around the pillow. Sideways. Nothing too athletic, just—up here where I can get to you.”

Lovett’s rambling. Lovett’s rambling about _sucking Tommy off_. Christ.

LittleMousling [5:07 PM]  
Lovett’s leaned over him, forearm braced on Tommy’s hip, and he angles himself enough to get his other hand wrapped— _fuck_ —around Tommy’s cock before he leans in to ... sniff him. Okay. Sure. If that’s what Lovett’s into, Tommy can wait. He can be so patient. Just absolutely—

“Please suck me,” he says, a burst that probably sounds more like _pleasuckme_.

Moog [5:43 PM]  
(Okay quick spatial recap: Lovett's on his side and Tommy's on his... back? Side also?)

LittleMousling [5:44 PM]  
(Side also! Curled around so he can be up nearly at Lovett level, with the top half of his back against the headboard)  
(I figure Lovett won’t be able to stroke him but can hold him in that hand)

Moog [5:47 PM]  
(Excellent okay I was roughly correct! Onwards i go!)

Moog [6:16 PM]  
"Fuck," Lovett says, a hot burst of breath, "fuck, that's—" and he leans down, puts his mouth—his warm, clever, mouth—on Tommy, wrapping his lips round the head. It's all Tommy can do to stay still; he looks down, helpless, at Lovett's bent head, the bare curve of his neck, the way he's curled over his belly. Tommy made him come. Tommy put that flush on his skin. Lovett—Lovett wants this too.

LittleMousling [6:19 PM]  
Lovett thought about this while jerking off, while Tommy was asleep in the next room. Did he—had Tommy been on his back? He can't remember. Probably. On his back over the covers, so Lovett could picture climbing up onto the bed and just—Christ. Now that's all Tommy's gonna jerk off about for the whole fucking rest of his life, the idea of if Lovett had woken him up from his nap like that.

Moog [7:28 AM]  
He can't even really think about it, what it would have been like—zero to this, waking up with a start with Lovett sucking him down, like this, just like this, oh, fuck, Lovett's good at this. He's joked about it, and Tommy's obviously thought about it, but this—Tommy grabs for the covers, just to have something to hold onto. Lovett pulls off, wipes his mouth, looks at Tommy's clenched hand.

"You can, uh, pull my hair, if that's—if you want," Lovett says. He's still flushed red so it's hard to know whether it's difficult for him to say. He doesn't always make eye contact anyway.

"Do you like it?" Tommy asks, and Lovett nods.

LittleMousling [7:32 AM]  
It’s too—something, too obvious, to reach for his hair right away. Tommy waits until Lovett’s sucking him again, eyes closed, before he slides his fingers into Lovett’s curls.

Lovett moans around him, vibrations vivid and incredible, and Tommy tightens his hand into a fist without conscious thought. Lovett groans harder, and Christ, this is the kind of feedback loop Tommy could really get into.

Moog [7:39 AM]  
Tommy wonders how much Lovett likes this—and what else he likes, what else Tommy could do to make him make that noise. He wants to try everything, touch everywhere, put his _mouth_ everywhere—and that reminds him of the thought of the slight swell to Lovett's chest, the slim possibility that Lovett might—that regardless, he must be more sensitive there, and Tommy suddenly just wants to stroke Lovett's nipples until he cries, maybe, until he gets hard all over again. Hell, maybe Lovett _can_ ; Tommy's read about increased arousal during pregnancy.

LittleMousling [7:57 AM]  
Curled up like he is, he could reach Lovett’s nipples easily, if he weren’t busy pulling Lovett’s hair. He just can’t stop looking at them, at the swell of, god, of _tit_ , and the rounded belly below. It’s all so fucking much.

Maybe—he wriggles, gets the arm he’s lying on up around Lovett’s head. Lovett pauses, pulling off and looking up at Tommy. “You okay?”

“Yes,” Tommy tells him, truthful and fervent, and uses that break to switch hands. Lovett’s eyes slide shut when Tommy pulls his hair again.

Moog [8:08 AM]  
Lovett's face is so expressive. Tommy could watch him forever. His eyes squeeze closed more tightly when Tommy tugs harder; his eyebrows furrow when Tommy groans. Lovett is still wearing his messy t-shirt, has pulled his sweats back up, and even fully clothed he's the hottest thing Tommy's ever seen. Tommy shifts, and reaches, and—there, gets his hand under Lovett's shirt and touches his warm skin, slides his hand up, up, until—

LittleMousling [8:11 AM]  
“Ah, fuck.” Lovett’s shoulders shiver. “ _Tommy_.”

Tommy’s just brushing his fingertips over Lovett’s nipple, soft and easy, and Lovett’s fucking captivated by it. Tommy could get used to this.

“Weird choice to, um, to distract a man who’s trying to give you a blowjob,” Lovett says, voice thready.

“Bet you can handle both,” comes out of Tommy without his quite meaning to say it.

Moog [8:24 AM]  
Lovett shivers again. His nipple hardens up under Tommy's fingers, tight and sweet. " _Fuck_ ," Lovett says, again, low, and says it again as Tommy keeps touching him, gentle. "That's—that's—" he puts his mouth back on Tommy's dick, just the tip, sucking at the head, and Tommy's toes are clenching, his stomach clenching, all of him needing and close. He keeps his fingers moving, even though they feel clumsy and stupid, keeps brushing soft at Lovett's chest.

LittleMousling [9:00 AM]  
He's caught in that pre-orgasmic world of conflicting urges—he needs to come, he needs to never come so he can feel just like this forever. He needs to pull away and get his mouth on Lovett's nipple, find out what sounds Lovett can make. He needs to grab Lovett's curls and yank him down, fuck his mouth.

He doesn't do anything except keep pulling Lovett's hair, keep stroking his nipple, and let Lovett make him come.

Moog [11:21 AM]  
Lovett swallows, but sloppily, and Tommy can't tell if it's for show or if he's that distracted, if Tommy is making him feel that good. He pulls off and pants, and Tommy just—Tommy is dizzy from coming and dizzy from Lovett and dizzy from _all_ of this, and he tugs Lovett up, insistent

LittleMousling [1:51 PM]  
They're nearly sideways against the headboard like this, pillows under them, but Tommy doesn't care, he just needs Lovett's beautiful, amazing, dirty mouth on his, right fucking now. He needs Lovett's belly right up here where he can run his hand over it again, where he can slide a hand up and try, just gently, pinching Lovett's nipple.

"Ah-h," Lovett stutters, pushing into Tommy's hand, and Tommy does it again, sweeps his tongue over Lovett's to taste himself in Lovett's mouth.

Moog [2:06 PM]  
Lovett pushes forward again, jerking against him, and Tommy keeps kissing him, keeps tasting himself on Lovett's tongue as Lovett goes pliant.

Tommy could stay here forever, pinching and stroking Lovett's nipples, hearing Lovett lose his breath. Lovett's belly presses between them, his t-shirt rucked up over it, and he's so _sensitive_ , shifting and gasping with every press of Tommy's fingers.

"Fuck, that's—" Lovett breaks away, ducks his head, panting "—that's so much," and his voice cracks.

Tommy stills for a second. "Lovett, hey. Do you—we can stop, if you need, okay?"

LittleMousling [2:10 PM]  
Lovett lets out something like a laugh crossed with a gasp. “That’s—so not what I mean,” he says. “I, fuck, Tommy, not to be the needy hormonal gay dude in the room, but, uh, if you didn’t want me to get hard again you shouldn’t have been so hot.”

Moog [5:15 PM]  
Tommy, ridiculously, feels himself get sheepish. "That's—sure, okay," he says. "Hot."

"Fucking—" Lovett looks up at him. "I'm so fucking into you," he says. This time, Tommy can tell it's difficult for him to get out. "Do what you want with that, all right, but I'm thinking it's kind of obvious right now."

Tommy has to kiss him again, has to. "I'm so fucking into _you_ ," he says, after. "I just want—I want—god, I want _you_."

LittleMousling [7:46 AM]  
“Then—listen, I’m game for another handjob if you are,” Lovett says. “First one was pretty great.”

Tommy swallows, hard, remembering Lovett coming in his hand. “Or you could let me touch you,” he says, and before Lovett can correct him, adds, “I mean, like ... all over.”

Moog [8:28 AM]  
Lovett looks down the length of them, at his own bared belly, Tommy's bare everything. He's biting the corner of his mouth the way he does when he's weighing something up.

"I—you can keep your shirt on, if you want." Tommy doesn't say _need_ ; Lovett doesn't need to feel like he _needs_ anything, especially not after the last few days. "I just want to touch you. I want to make you—" come, and come again "—feel good."

LittleMousling [5:41 PM]  
Lovett laughs, and Tommy can hear the self-deprecation in it before he says anything. "You can just say you don't want to—"

Tommy interrupts him, because _fuck_ that. "I want to see you," he says. "I'm fucking—I can't stop thinking about getting to see you, are you kidding me? You're, like. There's porn like this, but it's not as good as you. Um—not that I—not that I was looking at—"

Moog [6:08 PM]  
"Tommy Vietor," Lovett says. His voice goes up, showy, making it a bit. "Have you been watching, like, pregnancy porn? What, you didn't wanna make a move before I got all..." he gestures at himself. Tommy can see him thinking of adjectives, and wants to spare himself any of them.

"Only since—" he can already feel himself regretting this, but, fuck, he doesn't have anything that isn't all in with Lovett. He never has. "—I've only seen the, uh, you know, the, that porn, since you've been—"

LittleMousling [6:15 PM]  
"Ah," Lovett says, when Tommy can't make himself finish the sentence. "Well, that's—" He coughs. He sounds like he's ... self-satisfied, maybe, which is fair enough. "I suppose I do have an all-powerful, ah, miasma of sexuality that compels those around me to—"

Tommy laughs, and kisses him again, and starts pulling at the hem of his t-shirt.

Moog [6:20 PM]  
"Take this off," Tommy says, and tugs, gently. "C'mon, I want— _yeah_ ," and Lovett is rolling his eyes, self-deprecatingly tugging his t-shirt off, sitting half up. Tommy catches his breath, and just lets himself _look_.

He's been trying not to look, is the thing, but now he can and he doesn't know if he can stop. Fuck. Lovett is gorgeous, always has been; the width of his shoulders and the new sloping curve of his belly, his wider, rounder nipples pinked and peaked from Tommy's fingers, a ripening flush all down Lovett's chest.

LittleMousling [6:22 PM]  
He's so—Tommy's never in his life thought "fertile" about anyone, certainly not in a sexual context, but now it's all he can think. Fertile, virile, fecund—Lovett's an SAT question. A really fucking fetish-y SAT question. "When you let me touch you, in the stairwell—I mean, it was, like, it was amazing. Not—not that the kicking was sexual! Obviously. Just. Later, it was—the you part, not the baby part—I'm really not getting this out right."

"You're really not," Lovett says. "Kiss me again instead."

Moog [6:29 PM]  
Tommy can do that, and does, and they slide back together, Lovett kissing back firm and eager. Tommy can get his hands everywhere now, up the warm planes of Lovett's back, on the slope of his hips, just above the waist of his sweats; can feel Lovett pressed against him, bare to the waist, can feel every twitch Lovett makes.

LittleMousling [6:38 PM]  
He wants everything, wants to jerk Lovett off again, wants to mouth down over his tits and the curve of his belly and suck him. Wants, so fucking much, to fuck him, so much it feels dirty-wrong-hot and he has to glance past the idea, like he can't even look at it straight on. He just keeps kissing Lovett, instead, hands moving over as much of Lovett's torso as he can reach.

Moog [8:48 AM]  
Lovett starts making this little noises, catching high in his throat. "Tommy," he gasps, eventually, "are you gonna—fucking—"

LittleMousling [8:56 AM]  
“Impatient,” Tommy says. He feels high on all of this, giddy. He’s not going to let Lovett rush him when he finally gets to touch.

Moog [11:22 AM]  
Lovett huffs out a laugh, and Tommy keeps kissing him, kissing his neck, his newly bared collarbones, keeps running his hands everywhere he can. " _Tommy_ ," Lovett says, happy but strained, and Tommy doesn't know what he wants to do, how he wants to make Lovett come, but he knows he wants—he wants this, to slide his hand down, past Lovett's belly and inside Lovett's sweats, and to curl his hand around Lovett's straining dick.

All Tommy wants—all he wants is to _feel_ him.

LittleMousling [11:27 AM]  
"God, you—I thought about, like. Like, you getting knocked up. I mean, I thought it was with a turkey baster, but I still, uh, still pictured if it hadn't been. If it had been—if we'd—"

"Holy shit, Tommy," Lovett groans. "You gotta—faster than that, you can't talk to me like that and barely fucking touch my dick, it's, it's, I'm pretty sure the Geneva Convention applies in this situation."

Moog [11:45 AM]  
"I don't know," Tommy says, grinning, "I think I can do what I like." It's a joke, part of their usual thing, but like this it feels different, and it makes Lovett groan, shoving into Tommy's hand.

"C'mon, fuck," Lovett whines. "You—please—" and the desperation in his voice, layered under ironic self-consciousness even now, just goes right through Tommy, no pause for breath.

"I thought," Tommy says, keeping his pace, "I thought, uh, about how you could—you could be more sensitive now. Like, how you might—" he has to swallow "—need it. More."

LittleMousling [11:48 AM]  
Lovett says, gritty, "You have no fucking idea." Tommy pauses even his slow movements, wanting to hear more about this. "Is—you can't _stop_ , Tommy, you're killing me here. It's so much—it's bad enough you walk around looking like that all the time, when I'm fucking hormonal and, and _desperate_ , you're already torturing me just—all the time, already—"

Tommy's not hormonal, and he doesn't think he's gonna get hard again, but Jesus fucking Christ, that's hot. Everything about this is hot. "I like torturing you," he says, moving his hand again, too slow and too soft. "Desperate's a good look on you."

Moog [2:17 PM]  
Lovett's hand closes convulsively on Tommy's arm. " _Fuck_. Oh, fuck, you—do you know how fucking hard it's been sharing a room with you? You're so—and I'm—and all the fucking time, Tommy, all the time i want you."

LittleMousling [3:22 PM]  
"What do you want," Tommy asks, and even though it's not him straining toward an orgasm, he feels rope-taut, strung out. "Tell me what you want, tell me what you think about—"

"Already told you I think about sucking you off," Lovett grinds out. "Already—so much better than I thought, even. The way you taste—the way you sounded—please, harder, you have to—"

"What else?" Tommy asks, lightening his grip. He'll do harder when Lovett tells him more.

Moog [5:07 PM]  
Lovett moves, jerkily, like he's just stopped himself from hiding his face. "Fuck, Tommy. I—I thought about—waking up and hearing you, in the other be. I think about you—" his voice cracks "—wanting me—" and Tommy starts stroking him properly, overcome with feeling, chest tight. He might stop again, in a second, but—

"I want you," he says, and kisses Lovett again, feeling Lovett squirm, increasingly urgent, against him.  
[CONSIDERATION should Lovett lose his sweats or is he too self-conscious re: pregnancy for that atm?]

LittleMousling [5:08 PM]  
[I think we let Tommy persuade him! He already pushed them down for the prev handjob iirc so I think if Tommy's like "please let me see you" he'll agree pretty fast] [LET TOMMY TOUCH THE BUTT]

Moog [5:08 PM]  
[omg yes TOUCH THE BUTT, THOMAS. TOUCH IT. IT'S OKAY, HE ALSO WANTS YOU TO FUCK HIM]  
[maybe he, like, just touches Lovett's hole briefly and Lovett shoots off everywhere because HE CAN'T BEND LIKE THAT RIGHT NOW AND IT'S BEEN A WHILE]

LittleMousling [5:11 PM]  
[UGH YUP YUPPPPP GOOD ONE]  
"I—God, Lovett. Take your pants off, it's ridiculous you're still wearing pants, this is—I want to see you, I want to touch you, please just—"

"You don't have to beg," Lovett says, but he's slow to reach for his waistband. "You know, uh, pregnancy changes the body—"

"Lovett," Tommy says, sliding his hand out of Lovett's boxers to cup his cheek, "You could literally be a lizard person, and I'd want you."

Moog [5:16 PM]  
Lovett laughs, breathy. "Cool, cool, good to know that's what you're into," he says, and he starts wriggling out of his sweats. It's slow, at first, and then he clearly just wants it done, squirming out of them in a way that means Tommy has to roll back against the headboard to avoid a knee in his crotch.

And then—and then Lovett is naked. _Lovett_ is _naked_ , and Tommy can look at him, and look at him, and—  
[look at ALL OF HIS BODY, TOMMY, IT'S RIGHT THERE, HE WANTS YOU AND YOU LOVE HIM ahem]

LittleMousling [5:21 PM]  
"A picture'll last longer," Lovett says, but it's soft. Tommy's pretty sure Lovett doesn't really mind the way Tommy's looking at him, wide-eyed and wanting. Tommy's pretty sure Lovett could learn to like it, even, which is good, because Tommy wants to see him like this every fucking day Lovett will let him.

He slides down a little, still in range to kiss Lovett, but so he can get his other hand, arm somewhat pinned under him, on Lovett's cock. His free hand skates down the curves of Lovett's body, brushing over his nipple and then his belly, and then around to the cool, soft skin of his ass.

Moog [5:23 PM]  
Lovett jerks towards him. "Oh—fuck—" and Tommy jerks him slowly, slowly, feeling Lovett pulse, leaking, into his hand. Tommy can't imagine what it's been like—Lovett's been living on his nerves the last few days, going from one extreme to the other, and his whole body is signalling desperation, even as he lets Tommy set the pace. Tommy wants to bite at his nipples and see what sounds Lovett makes. He wants to take Lovett's cock in his mouth and blow him fast and ruthless. He wants to touch every inch of Lovett's exposed skin, pull the two of them flush together, and he cups Lovett's ass just to feel it, firm under his palm.

LittleMousling [5:28 PM]  
"You should let me do this for you all the time," Tommy whispers. "Let me get you off, let me see you."

"Anything," Lovett groans. "Just please fucking— _anything_."

_Anything_ covers so much that Tommy wants. He kisses the curve of Lovett's swollen tit and lets his fingers stray into the crease of his ass. They're not gonna—not tonight, they're not, but Tommy wants to press on the soft skin of his hole and see if Lovett likes it as much as Tommy does.

Moog [5:33 PM]  
Lovett tenses up, hand tightening on Tommy's arm. "Don't you dare stop," he grits out, before Tommy can ask, and Tommy doesn't, would do anything Lovett wanted right now when he asks like that, rough and on the edge.

Tommy skates his fingers down, and Lovett shoves back into his touch, forward again into Tommy's grip on his cock. Lovett is warm under his fingers, and Tommy, dizzy with it, burning up with it, lets himself brush over Lovett's tight, dry hole.

LittleMousling [5:35 PM]  
Lovett whines, high and loud, and then his hips jerk forward and he's _coming_ , just like that. "Oh, fuck," Tommy says, and rests his forehead on Lovett's chest to watch Lovett's cock pulse in his grip.

Moog [5:37 PM]  
Lovett comes a lot, volume-wise, considering it's his second of the night, shivering all over. Tommy can't wait to see this again, to see everything, to watch Lovett's face when he comes, and the muscles in his thighs. He gathers Lovett up, holds him close, lets Lovett swear and pant against his skin.

LittleMousling [5:41 PM]  
"It's like ... one-thirty," Tommy says, glancing at the clock. "We should probably sleep at some point. Unless you need to go again," the last mostly joking. Mostly.

"Funny man," Lovett says. "I'm pregnant, you should bring me a washcloth or something."

"I could do that," Tommy says, "But you'll feel gross later if you don't brush your teeth."

Moog [5:43 PM]  
"You brush your teeth," Lovett says, nonsensically and doesn't move. They're going to get cold, Tommy knows, but right now, with Lovett wrapped around him, he really doesn't care.

LittleMousling [8:58 AM]  
"So, uh," Tommy says, and stops, because he doesn't know what he wants to ask. Or he knows exactly what he wants to ask, but it's too big in his throat, choking him.

"Mm-hm," Lovett says, sleepily. Tommy's probably only got a couple minutes to get this out before Lovett drops off, even if they'll just end up awake in another hour, separating and getting under the covers for real sleep.

He takes a deep breath, and then another. "This isn't just—a road-trip thing, right? When we get back to LA—"

Moog [9:28 AM]  
Lovett snorts against him. "Two orgasms and you wanna talk commitment? Tommy, you're a parody of yourself." He's nestled right up in Tommy's arms though, and he squeezes Tommy gently, so Tommy isn't too worried.

LittleMousling [9:30 AM]  
"Well, there's kind of a ticking clock," Tommy points out, and lets himself splay a hand over the warm, rounded side of Lovett's belly.

There's a flutter, and then a full kick, and Lovett shifts. "The fetus does seem to like you," he says, voice tight with discomfort.

Moog [9:50 AM]  
"I like it too," Tommy says. He means it to come out eye-rolling, but it really doesn't. He's used to calling the baby an it; Lovett's been doing it since he found out. They can work on that. Lovett's still getting used to it. "I like both of you."

LittleMousling [9:52 AM]  
"Okay, well," Lovett says, and now he just sounds flustered; the baby's gone quiet again under Tommy's palm. "That's, you know, good."

Tommy snorts, and kisses Lovett's collarbone. That's probably good enough for tonight. Tommy can make his future proposals over breakfast. Or lunch, when Lovett's full awake and caffeinated, even. "I'd like it on the record that I encouraged you to brush your teeth."

"I'd like it on the record that you didn't bring me a washcloth," Lovett counters.

Moog [10:29 AM]  
"You can tell Jon tomorrow," Tommy says. "See if he sympathises."

Lovett makes a noise of pure outrage, and Tommy laughs into his hair.

LittleMousling [10:36 AM]  
"Okay," Tommy says. "Sleep. Emily's going to want to take you sight-seeing in the morning."

Lovett yawns, wriggles a little until his hands are curled up in the warmth between them. "You should come with," he mumbles.

"M'kay," Tommy agrees. He doesn't remember anything after that.


End file.
